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Fear vs hope and a scan on Monday

8 replies

FindingItTricky · 13/02/2012 15:48

Have got my nuchal scan and results on Monday.

This is the third pregnancy that has got this far. The first one, when I was 38, I was absolutely terrified - my GP had made a massive song and dance about the high risks for older mothers - and I was in tears before she'd even squirted on the goo. Results were very, very low risk, equivalent to the risk for a 15 year old Mum - more tears of overwhelming relief. Wonderful DS now 2 and a bit :)

The second time, when I was 40, I sauntered in having lost no sleep at all over it, looking forward to seeing the little person wriggling away. But we also saw a vast nuchal fold all down the spine and were given results of 1:2, later confirmed to be definite T21. Totally devastating and ended in a heartbreaking termination.

So I can barely string a sentence together in the terrifying run up to the scan on Monday. I've been through the first few months of this pg trying to ignore the little person inside, totally against my instincts which have previously been to talk to it from the earliest days. I know this is likely to be the last chance for us (now 41 and have been diagnosed with low fertility) and desperately want my DS to have a sibling. Someone described all this as fear vs hope on another thread - we chose hope and have kept on trying for DC2 but the fear is raging just at the moment. No particular question or advice sought, just knew people wouldn't mind me saying this out loud here.

OP posts:
ledkr · 13/02/2012 15:55

Would it help id i told you i had dd2 baby no 5 12 months ago and i was 44 Grin all well.I was terrified yes,convinced almost.I went to fmc and had the results straight away which helped loads. Its a very scary time,more so for you. Ther maybe better support on other threads,many women on here have terminated and gone on to have helathy babies. Lots of love and luck to you. xx

ledkr · 13/02/2012 15:57

some women can even spell correctly Hmm

PosiePumblechook · 13/02/2012 15:57

Awwww I had a 1:9 for ds2 and CVS came back negative. But it does change the scan from a picture of your baby to a serious test, so best of luck.

katiecubs · 14/02/2012 16:39

Have you had a look at the latest 'pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities thread'? The latest one has a long list of babies born to women (including myself) who have been through the exact same thing.

Scans are horrible things and i do envy those who go in with no worries at all, i will keep everything crossed for you on monday. Remember the odds are on your side xx

rhetorician · 15/02/2012 23:02

we had 1:11 for T21 (DP 41 at the time, 42 when dd2 was born); perfect baby girl glugging milk as we speak. There is hope, but your fear is entirely justified. I hope you get good news.

Boggler · 02/03/2012 21:22

Findingttricky how did your scan go? I hope it was positive and you're feeling more settled now x

FindingItTricky · 04/03/2012 23:13

Boggler - thanks for thinking of me - such a relief - we got very very low T21 risk so we're not going to do the full CVS tests (risk of triggering a miscarriage would be much much higher than the risk of T21) and are moving forward with a huge smile, trying not to worry any more. We had spent so little time thinking about the pregnancy that it was almost a surprise to see a wriggly little baby on the screen. Fingers crossed for a smooth 6 months until it arrives :)

OP posts:
jbl2312 · 13/03/2012 00:12

so pleased for you boggler, i had my dd at 43 and love being an older mummy, have 2 ds 20 and 17 xx

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