Post surgical termination - advice please

[Stargazerswife]

I previously posted this elsewhere and a very helpful lady suggested posting here.

Please, no emotional advice - had enough of that to last a lifetime!

First pregnancy and got to 13 weeks when discovered baby had Hydrops 8-9mm. After lots of scans and soul searching we realised that poor little thing didn't stand a chance so agreed to terminate.

Had termination last week, hardest decision I've ever had to make and yes, still keeping me up at night if it was the 'right' thing to do or if I should have let nature take it course. But that is something I will work out in time and DP has been my rock and has left me loving him even more.

ANYWAY....what I'm asking is what should I expect physically now and what should I do? When do my boobs go down and the cramps stop? I've obviously stopped taking pregnancy supplements but are there others I should now take? Will I naturally lose some of the weight? Should I expect limp hair and spots as the hormones leave my body/take their toll? Yes, I know this is all rather shallow and appearance related but what else is there at this point?? A girls got to feel good about herself to get on with life.

Thanks x

I went through a very similar situation to you and to be honest, physically it was a nightmare for about 5 months afterwards. I had more issues with the bleeding which was so heavy and I kept flooding constantly , it was not good. I would be fine with a normal period type bleed and then suddenly it would be like someone turned on a tap. In the end I had to get tablets from my consultant in hospital which helped massively. I never had problems with periods or cramps before this. I did have cramps most days whilst bleeding but paracetamol helped and hot water bottle. To be honest I cannot remember about my skin/ hair - don't think I cared. My boobs weren't a problem either they gradually returned to normal with no discomfort from what I can recall. I was signed off work for 5 weeks and i needed this time for my body physically more than emotionally but after returning to work still had embarrassing flooding moments where I had to just go home- thankfully I had an understanding boss. I will say emotionally ( even though you don't want any advice here) I thought I dealt with it all with the support of my husband, family & friends then a year later after having a successful pregnancy it hit me hard. So I had counselling which helped massively. I hope this helps. Take care. X

I had a medical termination at 18 weeks so my experience might be slightly different to yours.

It took my body a good six weeks to get back to some normality. I had a lot of cramping, and even though they said the placenta was complete, I had retained some small pieces - sorry if TMI. These did pass naturally in the end and as I was on antibiotics for something was lucky not to get an infection and need surgery. I stopped bleeding 6 weeks and 2 days afterwards and within two weeks I had what I assume was a period.

My milk came in despite being given something to stop it and that took about a week to subside. Once the milk had gone my boobs returned to normal within a few days. The weight loss took a while longer, but was a low priority. My skin and hair seemed to be OK, but I had a week or two where I did the bare minimum to look after myself, so could have been shocking.

I finished the pack of my pregnancy supplements then went on to standard multivitamins - basically because I was eating junk.

Emotionally, it's been a long journey but it does get easier. Take care.xx

Thank you both for your honest and supportive posts. Yes it's a long road but have found a distraction in work (who are being great and fully supportive if I have the odd melt down!). I am feeling like 'me' now which is helping me move on. The love and support I have found on mumsnet has been increadibly helpful and has proved what wonderful beings us females are!

Thanks again

X

Hello Stargazerswife, Sorry to hear about your experience. I had a surgical termination at 15 weeks due to a fatal heart condition with baby, and to be honest I went back to normal fairly quickly (physically). Bled for about 10 days, cramping stopped around day 8, boobs went back down quite quickly too - around 3/4 weeks. I didn't notice any significant hair loss, but suffered with spots slightly. I fell pregnant again 3 months after TOP so I had carried on taking the pregnancy supplements as I wanted to make sure I was getting enough folic acid for the next pregnancy. Depends on when you want to try again,, I knew I didn't want to wait which is why I carried on with the supplements.

As for the weight loss, this should happen naturally as your body stores water and fat for pregnancy. Be gentle with excercising as although you were not too far into your pregnancy, your body has gone through some big changes, especially with this being your first pregnancy, so speak to your GP before you start any kind of heavy excercise.

I had 2 older children at the time of the termination who were a great distraction, and I do believe keeping yourself busy helps you get back to normal emotionally, although I still needed time to just grieve.

I wish you luck for the future x