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Antenatal tests

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Original poster

It's not good news, cvs shows baby has ds:(

12 replies

ifrustrated · 07/12/2011 09:06

Can anyone talk me through what will happen now.

Please don't judge me but I will be having a termination. I'm totally devestated but I need to think about my older dc as well.

According to my last period I am 13+1 but the scan put me at 14+1 so they are saying I past the cut off and need to go through labour.

I'm not sure how I will cope with this, can anyone give me any advice? :(

OP posts:

Original poster

ifrustrated · 07/12/2011 09:08

Sorry forgot to say can anyone talk me through what will happen? She mentioned pills and a pessery on the phone but how long does the procedure take? I am really scared about it

OP posts:

Thefoxsbrush · 07/12/2011 09:10

I havent been through this but didn't want to read and leave. I can understand what a horrible time you must be having, hope someone is along soon with some practical advice.

shakemyhead · 07/12/2011 09:34

Don't want to read and run. I have been through similar. Will post In detail when near computer. On phone at mo

ghislaine · 07/12/2011 09:34

Ifrustrated, first of all, I'm so sorry you have found yourself facing this. I terminated my first pregnancy following a diagnosis of down syndrome 18 months ago. Before, during, and after my experience, I found this thread incredibly helpful and supportive. It does help to talk to other women who know what you are going through both physically and emotionally.

In terms of the practicalities, I had a surgical termination (although I was at 14 weeks, I was also at a big teaching hospital where it was possible). There are plenty of women on the thread I mentioned who've had medical terminations and they, I'm sure, can share their experiences and help with your worries. If you really think you can't face giving birth, I think that BPAS and Marie Stopes will perform surgical terminations after 14 weeks.

Wishing you lots of strength in the days to come.

mrsbigz · 07/12/2011 11:44

oh hun - i'm so so sorry that the news wasn't what you were hoping for. i do hope that you come across to the thread that Ghislaine has mentioned as there is an awful lot of support on there from people who have been through the same / similar experience.

i ended my pregancy back in March due to a diagnosis of T21 and an enlarged cystic hygroma. we'd been too late to have the CVS so had to wait until 15wks for an amnio, we then had a detailed cardioscan at 16wks before making our decision. i gave birth to our DD at 17wks - i am happy to talk to you more about the procedure and what happens, but will have to be later tonight as i'm at work at the moment in an open plan office!

you are much stronger than you realise, have they given you a timescale yet for the termination? sending you much love and hugs and will speak to you later - come and find us on the other thread if that's easier xxxx

ajandjjmum · 07/12/2011 11:48

So sorry you're going through this.

BebeBelge · 07/12/2011 12:27

WARNING: graphic description follows

I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation OP. I ended a pregnancy at 15 weeks due to enencephaly. It was a horrible decision and I would never judge anyone who chooses similarly. Please don't feel guilty. As you said you have older dc and need to do what is best for your family.

As far as the practical side goes, I was given some pills in my doctor's office on Friday afternoon which stopped the pregnancy progressing. He gave me 2 pessaries to take home with me. I was told to insert 1 at 8am on Monday morning and to insert the other 2 or 3 hours later. I did so and nothing happened until about 2pm-ish when I started getting what felt like very strong period pains, then my waters broke in a huge gush about an hour later and the baby was born immediately afterwards. I was shocked that the baby looked so much like a baby. He was the size and dimensions of a Barbie doll. Perfectly formed but so so tiny and skinny with see-through skin. There was also a lot of blood and poor DH had to mop up afterwards which really shocked him to the core. I hope I am not distressing anyone by describing this (that was not my intebntion at all) but I was so shocked at my experience as noone had told me what to expect, it really affected how I was able to move on. I wish I had known what I would see.

However, I went through this experience overseas and I understand that in the UK you would not be expected to go through this at home but would be in hospital or clinic, which should be much easier. You could in that situation choose how much you saw and how much you didn't.

I'm so sorry again OP. I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

Original poster

ifrustrated · 07/12/2011 13:37

Thank you everyone.

Bebe thank you for being so frank. I am really worrying about how I will cope and needed to hear what I can expect.

We are just back from the hospital where I took the first pill and we are back on Friday to have the actual medical termination.

I would just like to wake up from this nightmare now please

OP posts:

mrsbigz · 07/12/2011 15:20

hun - i had to add my story for you.

i went into hospital on a monday to have the pill which basically stops the pregnancy progressing (by stopping the supply of progesterone i think). that was the worst bit for me as that was the 'point of no return' as i saw it. i was told to return to the hospital in 48 hours.
we went back on the wednesday for about 2pm, and although on the labour ward, the nurses and midwives were very lovely and understanding, and we had our own private room there.
i wasn't given the first picotin pressary until about 4:30 and nothing really seemed to be happening. then at about 6:30 the contractions started quite fiercely (and considering i'd had two drug free natural births prior to this i did find them quite painful!) - i was given diamorphine to help with the pain. at about 7:30 i was reexamined but they decided i was dilated enough not to need another pessary. my little angel was born at 8:56pm - DH and i had been unsure whether or not to see her, but when she was born we just had to (and thankfully it was a decision we both made together) - i was a little out of it still on the diamorphine, which i think helped me with the grief, but i wasn't so out of it that i couldn't appreciate spending that time with my daughter. the MW took her away to weigh her, took hand and footprints, and then brought her back to us to spend time with. thankfully i had no retained products and tbh once i'd spent that time with her i needed to get out of the hospital asap - we got home about 11:30pm.
just to warn you that the first 2/3 days were a strange feeling of peacefulness and sense that we had done the right thing (all good things) but on about the 3rd day the grief really hit home and it's then that the rollercoaster ride to recovery starts for you. that's where i found the other thread so so helpful and supportive as they understood what i was going through and i could say anything and not feel silly or misunderstood.
it's 9 months since we lost Eve and i still miss her but each day it does get easier. your hospital shoudl discuss with you arrangements, both immediately after the birth, and also funeral / cremation arrangements if you wish to go down that path. we had Eve buried in a hospital plot (with other babies lost too soon) and it served us with some closure, and also means we have somewhere to visit - we went on her EDD and will also go on her birthdate next year.
we planted a cherry tree in our garden in her memory, which will hopefully be in blossom on her birthdate and i wear her hand/footprints in a locket around my neck (which DH bought me, bless him).

i hope this has helped some - all in all, despite the utter sadness of it all, i found the birth not hear as hard as i had imagined.
if you want to ask any more questions please feel free xxxxxxxxx

shakemyhead · 09/12/2011 06:08

Hope everything goes ok today. My experience was similar to the other ladies. At 14 weeks from having pesseries in all took 7 hrs. No bleeding before waters broke then very quick. Managed with cocodamol. Take a hot water bottle with you. I was up and about til approx 20 mins before and I think that made things easier.
Ask for pain killers before you need them I had a bad half hour waiting for mine to kick in about 3 hrs in.
Mine was a Mmc after a high nt. Had prepared to have cvs and terminate. Looks like it was Ds
Look after yourself xxx

Wormshuffler · 09/12/2011 07:01

Hugs xxxx

manitz · 10/12/2011 17:49

hi i have had 2 terminations 4 years ago for a heart problem at 26 weeks and 1 year ago for ds at 14 ish weeks. both were medical. i mention both because unlike someone said earlier i was surprised how much like a fetus i thought the 14 week one was but perhaps thats comparative. in each case i found it very helpful to meet my babies and have photos.

i have had previous sections so it was all in hospital in case of rupturing. before 21 weeks it is on a gyne ward at my hospital so nurses not midwives and they left me to it and it took 2 hours (you only have to get to about 2 cm). I cried all the way through which i didnt mind and asked the nurse to look at the baby b4 i did and she sort of arranged him as i was a bit scared of what he would look like.

we had him cremated it was organised by the hospital and before 24 weeks usually with other babies. generally i found the birth a bit of a relief. I hope it goes quickly for you. x

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