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Antenatal tests

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Speechless - need to tell someone

44 replies

StunnedAndShocked · 11/05/2011 06:58

after five mc finally got a BFP on 1/3/11 - all signs good as felt so sick, sore boobies, gloating etc.
We were delighted - had 3 reassurance scans which showed baby growing well & very strong heartbeat
All started going wrong at my dating scan last week where it showed baby had "fluid" around the head & part of chest. Still had very strong heartbeat
Was shown into room were we were told baby had very low chances of survival - as you can imagine floods of tears
We had a CVS a couple of days later to confirm the degree of problems, knowing full well that if it was downs / turners there was no problem as we could cope but if it was something else & baby wouldn't have any quality of life we knew what we had to do even knowing how hard / heartbreaking it will be for both of us.
The CVS its self didn't hurt - was uncomfortable but no pain & i had no pain or bleeding afterwards. I rested for a couple of days - the hospital were amazing in explaining everything to us.
After 6 very long days (weekend included) we had our results via telephone showing our much wanted / loved / longed for baby has Edwards syndrome - which in a nutshell means incompatible with life
During the 'waiting' time we had googled / researched all the possibilities & came up with endless answers to the results - always hoping /praying that it wouldn't be worse case & we would have to end babies life knowing that if we didn't baby would not live for very long if born - that is if baby made it that far.
After a sleepless night we are off to the hospital this morning to have a chat with the consultant to disscuss what happens next.
I feel kinda harsh / selfish in my view that I 'need' to have a termination ASAP as can't cope with feeling pregnant any more. I can't wait for baby to die & pass naturally or take pills & wait. I need to get this over with as feel I can't cope much longer with a baby growing inside me that isn't going to be born.
This is soo very hard for me as work in large office & there are a couple of ladies due around same time as me. One I feel I need to shake / slap as she is still smoking, eats crap, moans the whole time how ill she feels, problems she has had/having (one loss for which I am sad about), taking piss & having so much time off as she is feeling unwell...
Thank you for taking the time to read my post, I have been reading other posts on this site & so many others over the pass few days & realise this is something that we don't tend to talk about out in the open / share with others.
I am hoping to have counselling from the hospital & feel I need to see dr about anti depressants as last time I didnt get any of this and had a major wobble resulting being off work for a couple of months & gaining about 5 stone in weight.
Knowing this is something that is just one of those things due to my age isn't helping, knowing I have not done anything wrong / nor anything I can do to change things doesn't make our choice this morning any easier. Although putting my post here & re reading it a few times makes me understand that I have made the right choice & know that continuing with this pregnancy & waiting to see if baby is ok really isn't an option for us..
Although I feel so lucky that I have the suport of my husband & friends who have been here to pass the tissues - I am never ever going to give up hope of having a baby....
Sorry to have waffled :-(

OP posts:
Ungratefulchild · 13/05/2011 09:28

Thinking of you xxx

haudyerwheesht · 13/05/2011 09:37

Yes call your midwife and tell her this is happening. It is appalling care. Please take care of yourself.

Sorry for the loss of your precious girl x

StunnedAndShocked · 13/05/2011 09:48

Just spoken to the MW & she called me back to say they moving beds about on the ward so I can have a side ward to myself.
She said they will call me but if any further problems give her a call & she will do all she can for me
Just waiting game now......
Update they just called - they still trying to move lady out of side ward - she is going home but they still can't give me a time scale
I am sorry to sound soo angry but why the fcuk didnt they get my notes to know I was going in & get things sorted out. I know they have emergencies go in etc & I should be more calm but not feel it..... :(

OP posts:
MyangelAva · 13/05/2011 10:18

Oh honey, that is just truly awful! I can't add anything either but want to reinforce what the other girls have said; you can get through this and you will. Make sure you're not alone today whilst you wait & I'll be thinking of you & checking in. Hoping they call back soon xxxx

StunnedAndShocked · 13/05/2011 10:40

Still waiting :(

OP posts:
Cinnamondog · 13/05/2011 10:45

I hope they hurry up. Don't feel sorry about sounding angry - you have every right to be! Glad the MW was able to help and at least they are trying to do something. Just concentrate on yourself, getting through this the easiest way you can and try not to dwell on their complete cock up. You can fight that battle when you are stronger. For now look after number one, (that's you lovely!). Crossing my fingers for news soon xxxx

StunnedAndShocked · 13/05/2011 11:42

Still here waiting :(

OP posts:
MABS · 13/05/2011 11:57

this is appalling, you poor love, is someone with you ?

StunnedAndShocked · 13/05/2011 11:59

FFS - just had a callback & was told it will be another couple of hours at the earliest before I will be going in...
I was hoping to go in early & be in my own bed tonite - not looking that way now Angry
This as happened once before a few years ago - were I was meant to go in at 0800 but didn't go in until after 1700hrs that time was ERPC
:(

OP posts:
StunnedAndShocked · 13/05/2011 12:37

Last post for today...
Just had call from hospital & been told to go in for 1330hrs
Now feel really sick - just had a cheese sandwich for lunch
Thanks for the support ladies
X x

OP posts:
MABS · 13/05/2011 13:00

take care x

Cinnamondog · 13/05/2011 13:08

Thinking of you, be strong xxxx

Marlinspike · 13/05/2011 13:19

So sad for you XX

MyangelAva · 13/05/2011 16:24

Thinking of you xxx

StunnedAndShocked · 15/05/2011 17:55

Finally back home. Been a very long few days
Had first lot of pills (inside ones) at 1400hrs then it was a waiting game for things to happen. Started of with dull period style pains but nothing too bad. More pills at 1800hrs, started passing clots etc. By 1930hrs I felt I had passed everything including baby. The nurses & Dr were not so sure & said there was more to come.
More tablets over the next few hours, was given pain killing injections so pain wasn't an issue. Had to have nurse with me every time went to bathroom & paper pot in loo to catch things.
Nothing happened overnight - no sleep only cat naps for both of us. Hubby went home at 0600hrs to have a couple of hours kip & feed cats.
Was scanned at 1145hrs to be told something left inside. Dr came to see me about 1330hrs, was told choice of waiting to see what happened which could take a while or a op to remove what was left. I chose op & was in theatre by 1345hrs.
After my tea a couple of hours later - wonderful NHS sandwich a nurse came & told me that the dr wanted to know if I wanted to go home.
Only thing that stopped me dashing out there and then was the wonderful back opening gown I had on that flashed my backside when I walked.
Slept for about 14hrs when I got home. It was so nice to be in our bed. The cats were ever so pleased to see me.
Today not too bad, hardly any bleeding at all, little pain / discomfort in my tummy but nothing a couple of pain killers will not sort.
Hubby was amazing as he went through the house & packed away anything to do with baby including mat clothing & books etc. This was great help because I know it is all safely away and I will not find it in a low moment.
Now I know the hard part starts as have to get back to normal - well normal for me & get on with our lives. Going to be hard as have two close friends who are due within a week of me. Happy fir them but will be hard. Not told either of them yet as not been about since dating scan were we found out about our babies problems.
Thanks for all your kind words & thoughts. Will be back in a day or so when feeling stronger plus when home Internet sorted as trying to read and post on my phone isn't easy
Take care out there
Xx

OP posts:
Wormshuffler · 15/05/2011 19:28

xxx

EggletinaClock · 15/05/2011 20:08

Hi stunned It sounds like it was an ordeal but it's over now and I'm glad you're not in too much pain. Do come back when you're ready as there's plenty of people here who understand what you're going through and support you through it. Look after yourself. x

MABS · 15/05/2011 22:11

very much love x

MyangelAva · 15/05/2011 22:54

Xx

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