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Antenatal tests

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Original poster

Completely devastated, how can we get through this

6 replies

Cherrybug · 25/10/2010 14:00

Hi,

Some may have read or commented on my previous post when we were told we had a 1 in 13 chance of our baby having downs. Had amnio, rapid results were clear. We were so happy.

We had a week away last week and got a call to say full results had shown a problem. Today we saw genetics consultant to be told there the baby has a chromosomal problem - unbalanced translocation. Its a little girl. There is no way our baby can be ok and it is likely, if she survived she would have multiple severe problems. So we feel now we have no choice to end our pregnancy. How do we get through this. We are completely devastated. I know some women on here have been through ending a pregnancy due to a chromosomal problem. I dont even know really what I'm asking - just some words of advice I suppose. I'm so scared of what is going to happen in the next few days. I wish there was some other way, cant believe this has happened, we were so relieved after the initial amnio results and now our whole world has collapsed and we are facing our worst nightmare. Cherry

OP posts:

wifeofdoom · 25/10/2010 14:03

No advice but how awful. Big big big hugs to you and your family.

mrslurkalot · 25/10/2010 14:07

Nothing so say except that I am so so very sorry that you are going through this x

bundlebelly · 25/10/2010 14:09

So sad for you. I'm so sorry. Wishing you strength and support for this difficult time.

nancydrewrocked · 25/10/2010 14:19

Cherry I am so sorry and I hope you have lots of RL support.

My situation is different to yours but I am now almost 15 months on from losing my DS2 at 23 weeks due to a chromosomal disorder. All I can tell you is that it does get easier.

Take everything a step at a time and don't worry about anyone but yourself.

Wishing you all the best.

lucy101 · 25/10/2010 14:25

I am just so, so sorry.... it is terrifying and heartbreaking and many other things... but as nancydrewrocked posted it will (very, very slowly) get better.

Get all the help you need right now to make your decision, get in touch with ARC if you haven't already, and take very, very good care or yourself and of each other.

Life is terribly cruel sometimes and you have been terribly unlucky.

Crazycatlady · 25/10/2010 14:48

Cherry I'm sorry you're going through this.

If you have made the decision to end your pregnancy there are things to consider:

will it be surgical or medical? If you have a choice which would you prefer?
if you end your pregnancy through medical management, do you want to see your baby when she is born?

Also think about how you might like to say goodbye to her or if there is anything special you'd like to do to mark her short presence in your life.

When we went through this, we found giving our baby a name really helped too.

If you're not sure whether to end your pregnancy, or want more information on what your baby's condition means for her, then ARC is a very good place to start.

Is there a close friend/family member you can talk to as well as your DH? You may not want to talk at this stage, and sadly most people won't get it as they don't understand the trauma of losing a baby, but it may help if there is someone in real life you can confide in too.

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