What help is actually available? (Haven’t bonded with baby)

[MrsStarshine]

I’m having a hard time coping with my two month old. I think the underlying problem is that we haven’t bonded.

I can manage if he is in a good mood or even if he is a bit upset (e.g. he’s tired but I can settle him). It’s like babysitting a nephew. But sometimes he just cries and it’s impossible to fix because he’s too upset to be fed, burped, etc. At those times I sometimes just break down and cry or yell. It’s so pathetic and awful of me.

My husband is fantastic and patient with him. He has this whole reservoir of love for the baby even when he’s upset that I just lack completely. I think my husband is getting frustrated with me though.

The baby doesn’t like me much really. He cries more around me and is less interested in me compared to my husband (I think… maybe that’s all my faulty perception)

Even if I do admit this to the health visitor or GP or anyone, what can they actually do? Just prescribe some medication? Has anyone been in the same situation? What happened?

Great that you’re seeking help. As Wish44 said be kind to yourself. You’ve had so much happen to your body and hormones, it may take time. If you’re getting a bit stressed it’s likely that your baby feels that, and settles slightly better with your DH. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Really good idea to get help and support, and that you’ve realised there might be a problem. Attend some mum and baby groups such as baby massage etc. Good luck.

Thanks for the encouragement, I hope your family are all doing well now. It’s good to know things can be different if we have another baby although that’s ages away

Thank you for the kind message, things are improving a bit already

not a big update, but I’ve had a few more good days and I think I kept my patience better during the hard ones. I’ve been referred for a support group and a some kind of bonding help so hopefully those will improve things when they start. Thanks for all the encouragement