Just wanted to share a poem I wrote while awake at 2am. Post partum has been a real struggle for me and I hoped a could find others that maybe relate? I don't know. Just feels good to share....
Coffee & sertraline
My current survival gear
One to keep my mind awake
The other to keep me here
The kettle hums, the baby cries
the washing waits in a heap
I smile because I'm meant to
Feeling heavy underneath
I count the hours, I count the feeds
I count the reasons to keep going
Some days I can't quite seem to keep up
When the workload never stops flowing
The guilt arrives with every pause
"I really must do more"
How a heart can break like a wave
while being someone's safest shore
So I sip my coffee while it's warm
before the day steals every minute
I swallow hope in tablet form
and pray tomorrow might feel different
Because healing isn't straightforward
it isn't found in perfect days
It's choosing to fight no matter what
And staying when your mind wants to fade
It's bedtime stories, little laughs
sticky kisses and nursery rhymes
It's bathtubs overflowing with toys
Your tiny hand in mine
I hope my children won't remember
the mornings I felt undone
And that they remember arms that held them
And days that were filled with fun
And maybe that's the point
not that I never lost my way
but that love was always louder
than the battles I fought each day
So tomorrow I'll begin again
with sleepy eyes and hope unseen
another day to try once more
another coffee & sertraline