Bedtime help

[youngmummy007]

good evening everyone, i just wanted to come on here and ask for some help, I am a teen mum who is just looking for help, im at home all day with my 9 month old baby and i am feeling quite stressed tired and drained a lot of the day, i really struggle at nighttime putting him to bed, I am my babys only person, i live at home with my mum and dad but they work full time so ive no help really, a lot of the time i feel like when my mums giving advice it seems belittling to me, i often hear the phrase “i don’t know what you expected when having a baby” which really hurts because honestly i am struggling a bit, anyone any advice on how to help with bedtime? x

Small babies are hard work. You are baby’s favourite person in the whole world and they don’t like to be on their own. They will learn to self-settle and it will get better, promise.
If baby has a clean nappy, has been feed, is not hot or cold, it is ok if they cry a few minutes. They are just voicing their preference, being with you. They are not in pain. They want something else.

A routine might help. Reduce noice and lights at least an hour before bedtime. Turn screens off. A TV in the background is really bad. Avoid lots of people and movement around. For some babies, a bath is a calming event, for some, the bright lights in the bathroom are exciting.
So test and try to see if bath helps or not. If not, a bath in the morning is absolutely fine.
You need to be consistent. After the last bottle or breast, sing a lullaby, and on the way to the bedroom, say goodnight to everything. Goodbye grandma, good night kitchen, goodnight stairs, have the room ready and dark. Cuddle a bit baby , singing softly or making sssshhhsshhh noises. Put them down, and suussshsss some more. Mommy loves you, mummy is going to sleep. Good night baby.

Babies can be so demanding, I am a stay at home mum but I have a partner who can give me a break in the evenings. I would be very very drained if I was doing it all on my own so you are doing really well.

In terms of getting baby to settle, I agree a routine helps, something basic like pyjamas and a few books in dim lighting is enough in my opinion.

Perhaps also track her sleep for a few days to see what is the best wake window before bedtime. If a baby is awake too long, they can get overtired and then it's difficult for them to fall/stay asleep. You can use apps like huckleberry to track sleep.

I don't personally sleep train at 9 months as I feel that it's too young but many people do. I would trust you instincts on this one and weigh it up against your stress levels and ability to cope.

This will also improve in time. My babies are so much easier sleep wise by 18 months compared to 9 months