I know what you mean.
I have 2 children (6 and 2) and while we do have lovely moments, they are just that, moments - 90% of the day is just survival, doing essential tasks, normally to the backdrop of the kids screaming/fighting/asking for things.
We recovered from a 2 week cold, then instantly got D&V over the weekend (DH ill, both kids ill, so I was the cook/maid/nurse/cleaner for days), just as that levelled off DS immediately got HFM and was sick again last night.
Then to top it all off, I finally got DD back to school this morning, only to realise on the walk there it’s yet another fucking non uniform day (last one was 2 weeks ago). I actually screamed, I must’ve looked crazy. But the mental load is actually making me mentally ill - a relentless bombardment of phone calls, emails, letters, appointments, texts, ‘can you just..’ ‘your child needs a costume for…’ ‘don’t forget it’s forest school’ ‘today we will need wellies as’ ‘please donate to charity..’ ‘DISCO TONIGHT!’ ‘Please sign this form’ ‘is this your lost property?’ ‘We’re asking for donations of…’
It actually isn’t my children that sap my joy, it’s the absolutely enormous baggage that comes with them that seems to grow as time goes on. I swear we had 2 non uniform days as a child - summer and Christmas - and a school trip in the summer. My mum didn’t have a mobile because it was the 1990s so was free to do her shopping or get her hair cut without receiving a phone call demanding something, or an email whizzing in with yet another request.
It’s turning me into a horrible snappy impatient person because I feel so relentlessly harassed.