Baby just cries all the time

[PollyD123]

I in no way shape or form thought being a mum to a brand new tiny person was going to be easy but this is harder than I ever imagined. My baby is 3 months old and she is just such an unhappy baby. I get five minutes of smiles in the morning then the rest of the day she just has a face like thunder. She has spent all of today screaming her head off. She has reflux which she has been given medication for but her screaming is on another level. I’ve tried everything, entertaining her, going out for walks etc, it lasts all of ten minutes before she’s fussing again. I know that this happens with babies but just want to know that it gets easier. I thought her sleep was getting better too but this past week has been awful, I’m running on empty and feel like I’m going to collapse. My partner works away during the week so it’s just us, I haven’t got a massive support system and the people I do have all have very busy lives. I’m really lost and starting to regret my baby. I feel awful saying that and can’t believe I am when this is what I wanted. When will this start to feel better? Please please no bashing, I already feel like a terrible human being.

I think you need to take her back to the GP. Reflux is horrible, but if that is now under control I'd be considering if she has an allergy that is making her very uncomfortable and upset.

Safely bedsharing is the only thing that saved my sanity sleep wise. Mine both woke up every 1-1.5 hours at best and every twenty mins for a couple of hellish weeks at worst. If I hadn't been able to stay in bed I would have genuinely lost my mind.

You're doing so well. It will get easier. Just a few things to iron out first ❤️

Mine got better with weaning at six months. In hindsight, she couldn't burp. It will get better soon.

It’s really unlikely to be anything you’re doing. Some babies are just like this. We just had DD in June (she’s the 5th child!) and from 0-4 months she was absolutely miserable. No causes found. Just a fairly cranky girl.

She’s 5 months today and the last month has been a lot easier, though her tolerance for anything independent is still quite low. She wants to be held and interacted with all day long (we call it having “first baby vibes”). The other 4 were easy. Her sister who’s 51 weeks older is and was super chill and easy going. So this one threw us for a loop. I can’t even complain because she sleeps through the night 8-10 hours without problem. She’s just fussy.

Like I said though, it is improving significantly so I’m hoping we are on an upward trend. DH and I did joke out of exasperation around month 3 that we’d gone one baby too far with her because of the relentlessness of it.

I hope she improves soon.

My friends little boy was the same, she literally couldn't put him down without him crying and it was consistent for months. He wouldn't sleep unless he was on her or she was lying next to him. She breastfed at first but wasn't getting enough milk through so moved to formula. Turns out he was lactose intolerant and they got some formula on prescription (from what I remember) and that helped a lot. As another person has already suggested, perhaps she has an allergy?
My friend was also doing most of the parenting alone during this period and it was so tough for her, but now her little one is 2.5 and he is such a happy, confident and independent young boy and she is an incredible mum. You will get there, although it may feel unreachable right now it will get easier

I could have written this myself not too long ago. My 3rd baby has been the unhappiest baby I’ve ever met. He would spend most of the day crying, it felt that the only time he didn’t cry was when he was feeding and then because of his reflux, he would projectile vomit multiple times a day. We had countless trips to the gp and tried infant gaviscon, omeprazole and lansoprazole - none of which were working. At around 5 and a half month, I had a conversation with the HV and she suggested it was time to wean him in the hopes that something more solid in his tummy would stop the milk coming back up. At the same time, we saw a great GP who said to try upping the infant gaviscon dose and giving it via calpol syringe as he wouldn’t take a bottle. These things combined (and maybe reaching 6 months) has helped tremendously. The vomiting has more or less stopped for the most part and he is happier generally than he was. He is a much more smiley baby and now he can sit up and is more mobile, he is like a different child. It’s so hard to see an end in sight and you end up wishing time away but it does get better. I cried to a friend when I was at breaking point that I loved him but I had times where I regretted having him. You have all my sympathies, it’s so tough when you are struggling with an unhappy baby. I promise it will get better x

My silent reflux, in pain, constantly crying DC is in her 20s now. It was so HARD and miserable and awful.

It did get better month by month. Her pain tolerance levels are off the scale tbh.

My first baby was a sad baby. Have you considered cmpa. I would totally cut dairy if you are ebf. I wish I had.

ive had two more babies since and they didn’t cry like baby 1. I don’t think it’s normal. I don’t believe in colic, there is a real reason that crying babies cry. They are in pain or need something

What reflux medication has your baby been prescribed? We were initially prescribed Carobel which made our baby scream constantly due to pain with bloating. We then went onto Gaviscon which helped but can cause constipation in some babies. Unfortunately with reflux it is a lot of trial and error to work out what makes your baby comfortable. For us it was a change in bottles, the maximum dose of Gaviscon and a tongue tie release. As others have suggested the reflux could also be due to an allergy or issues with latching/feeding. Having been there I know it is a very difficult time but things will get better.

I sympathise, my little one is 7 months and had bad reflux in the beginning and then month 3 was pleasant and then months 4-6 were miserable. Constant tears and wailing, just would not settle and would by 4/5pm scream like clockwork. I could not bear it and it made me feel alone and miserable too. Also didn't have a huge amount of support at home so it felt like me and him suffering through the day. He also refused to be held by anyone else which made it even harder.

He does still need assessment re reflux HOWEVER, since around 6.5 months, he's been a generally happier baby, easier to settle and smiley and funny. It will all of a sudden get better! Sending positivity your way

Thank you everyone for your replies, it helps to know im not alone with this. She has been prescribed Gaviscon, I felt like it helped for the first few weeks but has maybe stopped working? She doesn’t projectile vomit but spits up constantly, bubbles at the mouth and seems to ease when sat up. She’s formula fed,how would I know if it were the formula that was the problem?

I found that sitting my DS as upright as possible when feeding him helped with the reflux. (Makes sense to me, you snd I don't eat virtually lying on our backs).

gaviscon is completely ineffective against milk allergy!

Honestly, if your baby is spitting up loads and very unhappy, milk allergy is fairly likely. You can actually buy hydrolysed or milk free formula but it is pretty expensive.

Signs of milk allergy aside from puking include:

-itchy or atopic skin
-mucus in stools
-baby eye bags (aka allergic shiners)
-copious loose stools or alternatively constipation and straining
-blood in stool
-feeding aversions that is, having to chase your baby round with the bottle to get them to take a reasonable quantity of milk each day
-poor weight gain owing to the above or vomiting or both.

It may not be milk allergy (and they usually grow out of it) but it is drfinitely
worth considering.

There is a charity called the Cry-sis Helpline which might be useful. Dealing with a perennially crying baby is absolutely awful, it triggers all your hormones and it’s baffling if you’re doing all you can - it csn really send you to the edge of reason.

My cranky baby is 15 now and very easy going but the first 7 months (before we sorted out the reflux abd milk allergy) were absolutely awful. He ended up on specialist formula and an adult dose of Lansoprazole, at which point he went from cross shrieking nightmare to placid pudding; it was like night and day.

I don’t think it’s milk allergy from the symtoms you’ve listed although she does only have a dirty nappy once every 3 days? But I was told by midwives that can be normal 🤷🏼‍♀️ definitely don’t have to chase her for a bottle she lets you know good and proper that she wants it, it’s like she’s being tortured.

It’s great she has no signs of feeding aversion and loves her milk.

I do think maybe only having a dirty nappy every 3 days is unusual, although if you are still using gaviscon that could well explain it. It makes poo sort of greeny play-doh consistency.

My son didn’t have any of the main signs of milk allergy aside from regurgitation at your daughter’s age. He developed a feeding aversion later, around 4 -4.5 months from memory. I think that’s about the age they are able to form associations but could be wrong.

It could of cours just be that you have a cranky baby who cries all the time. It can feel like you’re on a different planet to other mothers if so. Some babies really are just incredibly high-input and for no reason. In which case a set of really good noise cancelling headphones and a sling could be the answer for now: no shame in it, constant crying is unbearable.

Infrequent bowel movements for breastfed infants are totally normal - they can go for a week or more.

Different with formula fed infants. They have more waste product to eliminate.