I don't understand what I'm doing wrong...

[NaatQ968]

Hello all.
I have a sweet little girl at the age of 3.
Had no problems, apart from a traumatic birth but for along just fine, but it seems I have PTSD and health anxiety now, but that's not the main point of this.

We've tried everything and I mean everything.
My sweet girl wakes up at all hours during the night wanting to come into the bed, every single night. I work, my partner works, so usually my partner goes into the livingroom or I go into my daughter's room.
She started school nursery 3 weeks ago and it's been a nightmare, drop offs are terrible, she doesn't eat when she's there, and she cries a lot. We've all tried to support her but I feel sick.
Now we are getting push backs from her, doesn't want to use the toilet, screams when we imply she use it, hitting, spitting, spitting out her dinners. Saying no to everything. Either wants me constantly, or doesn't want me near her at all.

I don't know what else to do, I'm sleep deprived and utterly exhausted.

Please tell me this is normal and that I am not losing my mind.

Sorry but this isn’t normal and I would be seeking help from your GP.

No, this isn't normal. She sounds very stressed and upset, as do you. What does your day typically look like? Did she go to a different childcare setting before or is this her first time?

What part isn't normal?

She went to a different child care setting prior and we experienced push backs at the start, but now she's going to school nursery, we stopped the private one.

All of it. Waking at all hours of the night, not eating, constantly upset, screaming, hitting, spitting continually.

She sounds deeply troubled and you need to get her help.

Have the nursery suggested anything, in terms of accessing outside help? If she's not eating while she's there, and isn't settling, they must have some kind of guidelines for addressing it.