PND? Or just baby blues?

[PostPartum8990]

Tomorrow I am 6 weeks PP. I thought I was doing okay, until I realise I have literally been in flight or fight mode.

I am exhausted (understandably) as I have a 3 year old too, with suspected ASD/ ADHD. Her behaviour has become so challenging and I am constantly on edge about what’s going to set her off next. Partner and I had a huge row yesterday and he said that he doesn’t want to be around her with her behaviour and he dreads the weekends. I am trying to keep everyone happy, but I am literally drowning.

I have been on and off crying and feel like I want to run away. Yesterday I felt like I wanted to jump off a bridge. I was meant to go out with friends but cancelled because I felt guilty on my partner and didn’t feel like socialising either.

I feel utterly empty inside, and as though my children deserve more than me. I have become snappy, irritable and a horrible mum. I don’t enjoy time with my baby much because of how I’m feeling inside.

I am tired but can’t switch off. I feel like life is one revolving door of doom at the moment and enjoy very little. I have lost my sense of self and feel so lonely despite having friends and family. I have had messages from people, but I don’t want to speak to them. I just want to hide away.

What are the signs of PND? Could I be suffering from it?

Sending huge hugs!

I think at 6 weeks PP this could easily be baby blues and pure exhaustion. I suffered with PNA but this came in for me around 12 weeks each time. Your body and mind have been through so much, it is difficult to catch up. Your hormones will be all over the place. With the added stress of a 3 year old, there’s no surprise that you’re feeling this way.

Suicidal thoughts are alarming, if you are feeling like self harming please remember it is your hormones and exhaustion that is making you feel this way. If you’re in the UK you can call 111 opt2 for mental health support.

I would recommend speaking to your GP. And remember you are not alone.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling OP. I’m not sure that this sounds necessarily like PPD or baby blues to be honest, but more that you are in a really really difficult situation- newborn tiredness, a 3 year old with additional needs, and a partner who is adding stress to your plate rather than working to share the load with you.

It is absolutely worth a chat with your health visitor/GP though and lean on your friends/family for support- I would absolutely want to know & help any friend if they were struggling.

Thank you both for your replies @Glitterballofdreams & @Jellybunny56 I am due to see the HV again soon, so I will discuss everything with her then. Just feel like I’m in such a rut, I don’t know how to get out of it. I underestimated how difficult it would be with 2! I know it’s early days, but my god I hope it gets better x

It will get better i promise. Does your dd go to preschool to give you a break? I was prescribed antidepressants for pnd and and they did work. They also advised me to go for a walk every day. I think that would help you all

It will get better, so much better. I would reach out to your GP today and get that support started.
I also have a DD with ASD & ADHD, and parenting is so challenging, especially with a newborn.