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Abandoned By My Husband

4 replies

DesperateMum1990 · 27/10/2025 09:11

I got married last year, and we found out i was expecting our son, 2 weeks later. My husband was aware I suffered severe mental health, ending up with Psychosis and in a mother and baby unit with my last child.

During this pregnancy, I suffered HG from start to end. My husband had little empathy and expected me to continue buisness as usual. I emotionally shut down, as he was so unsupportive, i became critical of most things he did. I felt so alone. During pregnancy, he cheated, constantly lied, he moved out several times to his parents, who absolutely hate me. I was under the perinatal mental health team from my 12 week scan. Depressed and barely able to get out of bed some days.

He opted out of paternity leave, stating the impact on his new job. The night before I gave birth, he threatened to leave, if my dad temporarily moved in to support. As a result, I had to go on the school run 5 days after a c-section.

I was so exhausted on week 4 post birth and I passed out on the school run. Dropping baby. Baby ending up in hospital. My mental health nosedived further - and during a mental health episode i told nurses about feeling emotionally abused and what my husband describes as non-consentual sex incident. He was arrested, bailed but the following day I spoke to police and they dropped the investigation as the disclosure was due to my mental health crisis.

Ive not heard from my husband since (nearly 3 weeks). His parents told me to not message him.

I'm completely broken. Ive lost everything and just want my husband and family back. Im having daily mental health visits and caring for 3 kids alone. Im distraught so much i ended up having a mental capacity assessment, as i turned down a mother and baby mental health unit.

Hes blocked me on social media, hes blocked my number, he wont respond to my emails. I dont know what to do. How do I even get better on my own, when I dont even have time to shower?

OP posts:
PflumPfeffer · 27/10/2025 13:20

Sorry I’m unclear, did your husband actually rape you or did you just accuse him of it during what you’re describing as an mh episode? It honestly sounds like you need a lot more support, has anyone referred you to social services at any point? There is no way you should be considering getting back with a rapist, and if that’s not what happened, he should stay very far away from you. Clarity is really important here.

DesperateMum1990 · 27/10/2025 13:41

@PflumPfeffer so hes completely forbidden me from calling it rape. The incident he calls non consensual sex - involved me saying no, ajd him continuing. He immediately said afterwards, "do you know how hard it is for me, to stay excited when it is clear you arent into it"

He wanted to "prove he could" as he suffers erectile dysfunction. He then said he wanted to prove he was an alpha male, and therefore thought me saying no was "playing hard to get"

OP posts:
CleanShirt · 27/10/2025 13:42

DesperateMum1990 · 27/10/2025 13:41

@PflumPfeffer so hes completely forbidden me from calling it rape. The incident he calls non consensual sex - involved me saying no, ajd him continuing. He immediately said afterwards, "do you know how hard it is for me, to stay excited when it is clear you arent into it"

He wanted to "prove he could" as he suffers erectile dysfunction. He then said he wanted to prove he was an alpha male, and therefore thought me saying no was "playing hard to get"

Op, absolutely fuck what he "forbids". That IS rape. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 27/10/2025 13:49

I'm really sorry youre in such a bad way.

Your husband is a cunt. You are much better off without him although I realise you can't see that right now.

Please speak to family and friends for support. Are you sure you want to turn down the mother and baby unit, is that still an option?

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