Postpartum anxiety

[helloo12]

Hey, I had my baby two months ago. I’ve always had mild anxiety which would show in normal situations i.e going for a job interview. nothing major, and also struggle with ocd- which is worse when I'm anxious.

Since having my baby I feel constantly anxious with the thought that something bad will happen to him, and just generally worried for his safety when out and cautious of people around us. Things I see going on in the world terrify me now I’ve had a baby which wouldn’t have bothered me before. And I feel alert to people and on edge all the time. Story’s I see I think about for days and I worry for how the world will be as he grows up.

I have a neighbor who is mentally unwell (I am in the process of trying to move) but I don’t particularly feel safe at home due to this, a lot of bad things i see happening in the world have the same/similar mental illnesses as him so i fear what he is capable of, i have deleted social media platforms or tv shows that generally show the negative side of things going on in the world or spike my anxiety.

I have bonded really well with him and I love being a mum. i think it would be beneficial to get a gp appointment for medication but I feel anxious at the thought of social services being notified, I have a hard time understanding wether this sounds serious or not or again wether I’m just being over worried and these are normal feelings. I can imagine any parent would worry this just feel excessive and is impacting my thoughts day to day.

i have spoken to my partner and people close to me and there aware of how I feel but again not much they can do, friends I’m close to that have baby’s don’t seem to have felt the way I do which makes me feel like it’s not normal so I shy away from bringing it up as it makes me feel worse/guilty.

I don’t want this anxiety to impact my experience with him while he’s young as I really am loving everything else.
does anyone have any advice for me please or similar situations x

I had PPA and the best thing I could have done is speak to my health visitor about it. She was fab and said it was because I was now responsible for fine China and it'd an adjustment feeling like your heart now lives in them outside of your body. It made a lot of sense to me hearing that because I was struggling with intrusive thoughts and horrible fears and anxiety about everything. For me it only improved in a big way when I returned to work and I could see how happy ds was and how well he was developing while at nursery and I got to be more than 'mummy' in the day.

I tried to focus on going ahead and doing something to challenge myself every day that I was nervous about (because I only really felt 'safe' at home) and it's important to counter act those intrusive thoughts to prove to yourself you'll be fine. If I spent a day in the house it was significantly worse. I also was able to work out a correlation between lack of sleep and worse symptoms so prioritise getting whatever rest and sleep you can, circle your wagons for that if it means you can rest during the day while baby is downstairs being looked after. It's completely normal and loads of mums experience this, however that doknesn't mean that you need to put up with it. Speak to your hv and your gp, there was never any mention of social services in my experience but that depends on what your mental health is like and if it's got the potential to cause harm to you or baby, in which case its absolutely right that they offer you support. If you've a good bond then it sounds like you're doing really well and reaching out for help is always seen as protective parenting.

Post partum anxiety is definitely a thing. As are intrusive thoughts. I had it in different ways each time. Hormones can be wild and it's a huge adjustment in responsibilities. I'd definitely talk to your hv. I don't see why social services would get involved?

Your friends with babies might well have their own version and not realise. It took me until it had passed to work it out.