It seems clear me to me it’s related to my failed attempt to exclusively breastfeed and as a result triple feeding for about 6 months straight now. And as I can’t get my body to respond so well to the pump and my baby developed bottle preference and now always bites when feeding while awake, I’ve seen my supply slowly dwindle. We do still get to EBF through the night which my baby is happy with and so am I, but…
I remember as I watched her slowly having more formula bit by bit every few weeks as I worked pumping 2-3 hours around the clock on top of many hit miss attempts at direct breastfeeding, with each extra bottle or spilled milk I often just broke down into tears which has never been normal for me. And sometimes having to make a bottle first thing on a morning, several times I’ve said to my partner I feel useless, my body doesn’t work, things like this.
I have since realised my tunnel vision on this fyi and realise motherhood is much more than just being a food source, which has helped me cope, but I do still catch myself being upset by this stuff at times. I’d appreciate anyone’s insight.