PND? Or just normal feelings?

[Blossomofhope]

Hi guys
I have a 14 week old who I love so much but maternity leave is just not what I expected. Recovery after a c section has been slow, I’ve so much baby weight I don’t look or feel like myself. No clothes fit nearly 4 months later. Everyday feels unproductive. Like I never achieve anything (other than minding the baby). I feel like I just struggle to get it together everyday. I had mastitis and then Covid which hasn’t helped things either. I have been on walks and met friends for lunch a couple of times but I just find it stressful not knowing how the baby will be. Last week on a walk she got so upset I had to carry her home- this was after I’d spent two hours trying to get her to nap before the walk . I think she was overtired as she has no interest in sleeping during the day.

i just wonder if it sounds like I’ve post natal depression or just struggling a bit. I don’t know what to do.

It sounds a little like depression to me. I had similar feelings after my second and was diagnosed although I wasn’t sure either, thinking back now it is clear to me but I wasn’t myself and was unable to add any perspective to how I was feeling. Talk to your GP, is there a health visitor you can access to speak to? Take any offers of help you can get and don’t be afraid to ask for support. It gets better, for me things did get better after 6 months, but not significantly so until around 12 months. Take care.

So never rely on the pram - always have a carrier that is comfy for both of you. That will hugely increase your confidence when out and about and might be the tipping point to enjoying time out and about a bit more. But also, I wouldn't rule out pnd. While life with a baby is pretty monotonous, and you do have to plan around them, feeling bleak about it isn't standard.

Thank you all for the kind messages. They really helped. I spoke to my partner last night also and feel the better for it. I think trying to have a very simple small routine that I can achieve each day will help. Exercise def needs to feature for me.
I went through ivf & miscarriages before getting pregnant and then had a very sick pregnancy so I think the years of struggle have taken their toll a bit.

I can really relate to what you’re saying – those first few months after a c-section are rough, and it’s so easy to feel like you’re “failing” when in reality you’re just coping with a massive life change. Honestly, feeling unproductive is normal when your whole day revolves around the baby. The fact that you’re even getting out for walks and lunches shows you’re doing better than you think.
It might just be exhaustion and the weight of recovery rather than PND, but if these feelings keep hanging over you or get worse, definitely talk to your GP or health visitor. No shame in asking for extra support.
For me, starting small with self-care and reading about other women’s journeys really helped me feel less stuck. Stories like chrissy metz weight loss reminded me that it’s okay to take things step by step and still make progress.
You’re not alone in this – be gentle with yourself.

Thank you that’s so kind. I think you might be right.