Overwhelmed with newborn

[Ejs890011]

Hi everyone
I had a newborn 10 days ago now. And I am so overwhelmed upset confused, regret everything. What can I do to get through this?
I am not used to having something rely on 100% as I am in independent person and like to do my own thing so I find it difficult adjustment. I am feel so guilty that I regret having a baby but I know it’ll get easier in time. But it is a lot. Is there something I can do to get through these days

I’m really sorry you’re struggling OP. It does just get easier with time but in the meantime don’t be afraid to tell your partner/family etc how you are feeling for support x

I think what helped me was having a routine. I also went back to work at 7 months. It takes a while to get used to the loss of independence and spontaneity. But I celebrated the small wins. Mourn your old life, it is fine to do so.

Aw love your hormones are going crazy right now you’re bound to feel overwhelmed. It will pass, and the gentler you can be with yourself the easier things will be. Have you read up on the fourth trimester for baby and yourself? All you need to focus on for the next few months at least is your rest and recovery with baby close by as much as you can manage. Your identity changes when you become a mum and it is huge, it’s so common to feel like this.

OP you are not the first and certainly won’t be the last one to feel this way. I was in an awful place after my first DC. I couldn’t believe how insanely difficult it all felt and how I felt like my life had been ruined.
I know it doesn’t help now when people say it’ll get easier; but it does. Just take each day as it comes, so today just think of today, tomorrow just think of tomorrow and don’t put any pressure on yourself.
Make sure you treat yourself to some cake/chocolate, avoid loads of visits if you can. Take what the HV or midwife says with a pinch of salt, or breastfeeding is hard going don’t feel any pressure to continue and just do what suits you and your family. Mostly just take the pressure off yourself, say to yourself “I know this is hard and I’m just going to accept it” - I found that sometimes my reaction to the situation feeling difficult was more difficult than the situation type thing. Take care and you’ll look back on this post in a few weeks and realise it didn’t take that long to get to a better place.

Your feelings are valid - it’s a huge change in your life and as mentioned your hormones are all over the show. Try and be kind to yourself, take it a step at a time.

Would a baby sling/baby wearing help? Pop baby in there and they will likely be very happy and you have your hands free to potter about… if you do get a sling look up TICKS baby wearing safety advice x

Is this a sudden change? Have you been worried during your pregnancy? Please reach out to midwives/ HV/ Gp for MH support. Do you have support at home, can you leave baby with trusted family , bottles , change of nappies and clothes and get a couple hours to do something for you?

hey everyone thanks for the replies, I have talked to my husband about it and has been more supportive. I suffer with mental health anyway so it is hard for me to adapt to change. Takes me quite a while. I know things will get easier it just looks so far away and then when everyone says enjoy this moment when they are little I feel like such a let down as all I want is him to become a bit older. I am focusing on one day at a time. Thank you all for your support

How long on average does pregnancy hormones go back to normal then?

Have you got mental health support at the moment? If you can be referred to perinatal mental health for an assessment, or even just talk it through with your GP, that could help. X

It'll be ok, honestly it will. I have a very little one and, while my life will never be the same, I'm learning to get into the swing of my new life. A fabric wrap sling and getting outdoors at least once a day helps me

Have you been signed off by the midwife yet ? You can still access their care for the first month - I would let them know how you're feeling, if you have previously struggled with your mental health
It is a real shock having a new baby, especially your first, and you won't feel this way forever.

Well it is an amazing thing - and understandably overwhelming - being responsible for the care of a tiny helpless human. But time passes and you slot into the new role - I remember the feeling well though it was many years ago now -tiny baby is now a strapping adult with their own little ones

The first 2 weeks are hellish but the hormone-driven low mood rapid improves after that.

Oh OP. It’s a hard time, it really is, and isn’t talked about enough. I was extremely unwell with PND and psychosis and remember crying because I didn’t want my daughter and had made a terrible mistake. It was horrible and I hated to admit it but can now.

She’s 6 now and I absolutely adore her, can’t imagine life without her, but the newborn days were absolutely brutal and I hated it.

It does get better. You’ll get in to the swing of things, get a routine going and it won’t feel so hard. There’s so much going on in those early days- you’ve just given birth, have raging hormones and have a tiny person to look after who is completely dependent on you, something you’ve never experienced before.

Be kind to yourself. I hope you’re feeling better soon.