Please talk me into going back home

[Noob2022]

Life is falling apart and feeling completely isolated. No family and things coming to a head and pretty much ending with husband today. All the thing left unsaid came out.

i have got amazing kids but i am letting them down.

drove off this morning. My kids are everything i have in this world but can’t bring myself to go back.

help

@Noob2022have you thought about going to the doctors and getting help short term? Or having therapy? Your kids mean the world to you so you’re going to go back.. you just need a plan 😊

Been in and out of therapy for years, currently talking to someone to.

the loneliness from adult interaction is killing me and the split from husband has been the final straw.

i want to go back but they’re better off without me.

They need you. Please go back. The loss of a parent in childhood is totally devastating, l know from experience.

They want you with or without your faults, and I can assure you they need you to be there. They may not know it or tell you, but they do.

Phone samaritans if you need to talk.

Are your kids safe, Op?

Yes with their dad

Oh I've been there OP. I drove off and parked up somewhere in the middle of the night one day because I'd just had enough. I texted my aunt to tell her what I'd done and she told me she'd done exactly the same a couple of times when her kids were young. I found that keeping talking to people (via text at first) was what helped me get the feelings under control and drive home after a couple of hours. Then I got a GP appointment and some medication.
It sounds like you're going through a time of massive upheaval.
Is there anything you can change in your life to give you something to look forward to? Maybe a new job or activity where you can be around adults again?

not much to change as on maternity leave so going back to work early might create more problems with little one being so small and no childcare arrangements in place.

I’m heading home for the sake of the kids. Little one still breastfeeding so wimped out I guess.

thank you for the kind words, crazy how strangers can be kinder than people you've spent a lifetime with

Many women have felt like this at some stage. Sometimes it’s PND, sometimes the relentlessness of motherhood, sometimes it’s a shitty marriage. It can all be navigated. I’m sorry things feel so overwhelming. I know I used to feel better when breastfeeding - can you lie with your baby and feed and make some gentle plans for what might help you? No pressure, no obligation. You are already enough for your kids. This is for you, to feel a bit lighter.

This stage of overwhelm will pass.