Baby gone “downhill again” driving me crazy

[BRL94]

Hello!
just wanted to know if anyone has experienced anything similar and has any advice.
I struggled with PND/anxiety/ptsd when my daughter was born, to give a brief background she was so miserable when born, non stop screaming, CMPA, reflux, constipation, colic, the lot. In and out of hospital constantly, wouldn’t sleep nap drink milk go in the pram nothing, just utterly miserable 24/7. It was 7 months of utter hell. Anyway around the 7 month mark she started to improve drastically. I mean like a different baby, constant smiles, laughing, eating anything and everything, so happy to be alive! She’s now almost one year and the last week she has regressed massively. All the old feelings have come flooding back. I thought I was out of this stage and finally enjoying motherhood. Now it’s back to constant crying, no sleep, can’t be left alone, won’t eat, screams when she sees me. I know it could be many things, teething, developing ect but honestly it is CONSTANT. I was getting into a good routine where I was starting to get a bit of my life back and finally becoming happier ect. That’s all gone to pot! And to top it all off, my family are visiting for holidays and she’s so miserable, they really try with her but it’s so difficult to bond with a baby who is miserable. I’m so upset on the verge of tears all the time and feel like we’re going backwards. It’s also worth noting im solo parenting most of the time, her dad works overseas for months on end.
I was starting to really bond and love her so much and I feel resentment slipping back.
any advice or similar experiences?
thanks xx

I am so sorry you are struggling. I have had PND and it is really hard.
Everything with little children is a phase.
2 things jump out at me:

• it is really hot. We are all suffering, finding it hard to sleep, need to be still, drink loads, have cool showers, wear cool clothing etc. Are you managing to do all that for her?
• How many family are visiting? Does she know them well? Is she overwhelmed by too many people, too much noise, too much handling, too much stimulation? Has her routine been disrupted?

Its probably a bug or teething. Is she walking yet? If not that causes huge levels of frustration in them about this age.

Well we actually live in the south of Spain, so yes, it’s extremely hot but to be honest she’s very used to it and has lived in it for months no problem. Granted it is getting to summer now so it’s fairly extreme. But we have air con, fans in her room, I dress her appropriately, constant water and fruit ect and she swims a lot.
I did think about this with family visiting re overwhelmed but it’s been coming for about a week or so before they arrived, it’s just peaked now - I find it particularly difficult because I’m having similar feelings for example dreading the day knowing she’s going to be miserable, waiting for the moaning and crying ect which is where I was for 7 months. It’s hard to have those feelings back when thinking we were in the clear. I know babies are hard, don’t get me wrong. But she is particularly high needs, always has been. Everyone notices it! I see posts from women who have had multiple babies and then had a particularly high needs baby exactly the same as my little girl and they are struggling, so as a first time mum I find it almost unbearable at times!

You mention she swims a lot … possible ear infection? That and teething will make her miserable. Maybe worth getting her ears checked just in case.

Yes - agree with this. She is at peak age for ear infection.

I had a baby like yours and what helped me to cope was to reframe his crying/fussing as his being in pain. Once you see it as that, it's impossible to resent, no matter how hard it was for me to not be able to reduce his pain it was much harder for him to not only experience the pain, but also the inability to understand why it was happening.

Given that your dc got so much better at around the time they usually start eating solids, which really helps with reflux pain, I'm guessing that that's what's going on, so I would investigate possible sources of pain for them. It's bringing it all back to them too, so they are likely to have less tolerance to pain than other babies.