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Antenatal/postnatal depression

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My partner threatened to leave 2 months postpartum

3 replies

DMcM1989 · 23/06/2025 19:39

Hi

Im currently coming up two weeks postpartum with my little baby girl. I thought I was doing okay, but it’s totally different this time with a baby as my partner and I both have a child from a previous relationship.

Pregnancy was a surprise, but we were happy with happy to go ahead and come together as a blended family. He moved in December 2024 (in my house).

Last Saturday afternoon we were out for my sisters birthday and my mum was away on holiday so I decided to take it easy as we were taking the baby with us. I had asked if he could do the nappy changes as I was doing the breastfeeding - he’d agreed. I ended up doing them “as I’m faster”
the buggy was getting brought down (from the reserved area) the top of it was dismantled and no one could put it back on including dad. At this point I wanted my baby out of the main area as there were individuals having shots/drink etc - I wanted the baby safe. So I took everything away outside including the baby, put her in the buggy and assembled everything almost immediately. I said to him he didn’t change any nappies & the sh*t hit the fan.

i was humiliated in public with him souring in my face about how he’s done and he’s leaving. He’s fed up of my nit picking and mental health as it’s affecting his mental health. This shouting happened twice (so much so that I got frightened and started shaking/crying) - a couple intervened that witnessed this in our town.

i admit I’ve been a total pain in the back side with my anxiousness, shouting at the kids and just wanting everything tidy all the time. My mood hasn’t been the best at times & I feel like I’m failing my kids. I’m generally happy but after that Saturday I took almost three hours of being told how horrible I am, my worth as a mum, partner and human being was targeted. I feel numb and as if I’m drowning. My partner said he made his mind up on leaving and moving to his home town & he wasn’t going back on it. Next day he does all the washing, bed sheets, roast dinner & brings home a McDonald’s. I went out a couple of times and remained normal (I didn’t withdraw my love as punishment). So he’s still here…? My head and soul feels totally messed about and I’m not sure how to love forward

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 23/06/2025 20:54

Congratulations on new baby. Take care of yourself it’s a lot to adjust to
Talk to your GP and HV that you’re feeling low in mood get some support. Discuss your MH and how you’re feeling. It is common to feel in turmoil after a baby. Let GP and HV know the relationship is strained. Take care of yourself and remember take little steps.
Regard the partner, again I’d advise he not take any big decisions when he too is stressed. No big decisions when there’s so much else going on
He can see his GP too

To reassure you, low mood after birth is a very treatable illness and with medication and support a good outcome is achievable. GP can refer you for talking therapy too

MujeresLibres · 23/06/2025 21:41

@DMcM1989you might get good advice on the Relationships board. Your partner sounds like he hasn't adjusted to having the baby.

Foreverm0re · 23/06/2025 21:43

Stop blaming yourself. He sounds like a twat.

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