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Antenatal/postnatal depression

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Anxiety since positive pregnancy test with second child

3 replies

Mum231402 · 03/06/2025 10:28

Hi, Please bear with me as my head is all over the place and I feel such a mess.
I found out 2 days ago that im pregnant with my second child, total shock as first child (nearly 2) was an ivf baby so I was not expecting to get pregnant naturally.
But I've found this time round I don't feel excited at all. If anything i feel petrified and can't stop crying.
Please can people give me some positive insights where they felt the same way but having an additional child was the best change.
Im worried that my relationship will take a big hit, its already hard to make time for my husband and we fight more often since having a child. Also so many of our friends have had issues since no2 and split up.
Our first was so so wanted and Im filled with guilt of how I won't be able to give them my whole time and worry they won't adapt well.
And also because im not feeling happy currently, what if I feel like this the whole way through and dont love this baby? I was just getting to the point where I was almost happy with one aswell, which is making me feel worse.
Basically I cant sleep or eat, im just so anxious and down I dont know what to do, so please be kind and thanks for reading x

OP posts:
Esti2024 · 03/06/2025 11:14

Hello, big hugs. I am only a mum of one but also through IVF. I’m 5 months postpartum and really having a tough time adjusting to motherhood. I feel like I made the wrong decision and suffer from PPA. I discussed with my husband that if I for some reason unexpectedly get pregnant now, or ever, I wouldn’t be able to keep the baby- it would break me and I already had suicidal thoughts after this one, and we agreed on that.
Sorry this probably isn’t helpful if termination isn’t something you’d ever consider but just wanted to share as you mentioned you can’t stop crying, you’re happy with one etc. Xx

Mum231402 · 03/06/2025 12:15

Aww im really sorry that youre having a tough time. 5 months is still so new, my anxiety was through the roof when I had my first but it definately settled as time went on. Now im getting more sleep, im enjoying it more.
I've regularly felt I wanted more children but I think the reality has completely thrown me. I think im crying because im just so scared of the unknown, logically I know people say that you love the second the same but I guess I cant see it at the moment. Im just riddled with guilt for my first at the moment.
I keep trying to look at baby pics/videos of my first to show myself the love i will feel.
I dont want to let this anxiety win by having a termination, I think thats why I posted because im trying to think more positive.
Its so hard for us mums, I never realised how much our mental health can take a hit x

OP posts:
LilacGlitter · 12/08/2025 06:45

Hi OP, I hope you are doing ok and hanging on in there. I felt the same fear when I was pregnant with my second. He turned out to be the very best gift I could have given my first born - when I see them interact and play together there is honestly nothing better. You will be ok and it is so very worth it.

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