I feel so ashamed

[Wildwelshcob92]

Hi
apologies if this is the wrong place to post
I found out I was pregnant in april very early on. Me and my partner weren’t actively trying and had kinda said if it happens it happens ( we had actually discussed fertility issues as up till this point we hadn’t even had a scare and we were not on birth control) anyway we found out both so so happy. I’m now almost 11 weeks had my book app friends and family know and work know (due to the environment I work in they had to know early on) everyone is so so happy.

however last week I suddenly felt a complete sadness over being pregnant. Like I didn’t want this anymore, my life will never be the same what have I done ect. The only thing people talk to me about is the baby.

iv gone from being so excited to not being able to even discus the baby.

we’re due to move into our new house and I just feel so lost. I just feel utterly fed up.i do suffer from adhd and have had depression and anxiety in the past and I wonder if it’s this. Iv also suffered with tiredness and nausea and the smell of food just completely knocks me. Which is annoying as I love to cook and I’m actually a very active outgoing person and now I just feel like I’m stuck in the house

my first scan is in the next few weeks and then I have an appointment with my midwife so I will speak to her then about how I’m feeling

i just want to know if this is normal .. I’m absolutely terrified I’ll feel like this until they are born and not be able to bond with them

This is absolutely normal. Just remember you are still a woman. I refused to let being a mother become my identity. Yes it does take up a lot of my time and energy, and my children are my top priority the vast majority of the time but I still do things for myself and prioritise myself from time to time and there's nothing wrong with that. I have friends who will not do anything outside of their children but they are happy with that so that's OK too, it just wouldn't be for me. It took me time to realise that you can still be a person and a mother.

I think people build it up and panic others and make out like having a child is awful "oh you'll never sleep again" blah blah blah. At the end of the day if it was that bad absolutely nobody would have a second child!

It is so normal. It's the unknown. Your life is about to change (for the better), but you don't know this yet. When your baby is in your arms I'm sure you'll feel completely different. I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant, we wanted this so much but I couldn't imagine myself with a baby, I couldn't see past the birth and that consumed me. But he is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. Once you have scans and start buying things it does become a bit more exciting. Do bring it up with your midwife they're great and will help you get through it

Completely normal. It's a big change and pregnancy can be rubbish at times.

Good idea to talk to the Midwife. I felt just like this, I went on to voluntarily have a second. You will be ok

Oh poor you, you sound so sad, but I think you are just normal. I remember my first longed-for pregnancy, I was so excited when I found out but after a couple of weeks I didn't even want to think about being pregnant, I worried what life would be like and if I'd made a mistake. I put it down to having morning sickness but I think it would have happened anyway. Just think of the enormous changes in your hormone levels and of course it's one of the biggest life changes.
Anyway, I soon felt much better and all was OK when he was born! You'll be fine.

Thank you everyone

I think Iv always been so set that I will never have kids until I met my partner and we discussed it a great length and now I dunno I feel just so scared and have no idea what to expect

I suppose a lot of worry also has come from people constantly saying “oh your tired now wait till baby is here” or “I couldn’t have a baby i like just being able to do things when I want ect” I did actually bring that up to my mum and she told me to tell people that I don’t need to here the negatives ( my mum has been a wonderful help in this)

thank you again guys you have made my mind at ease a little and I’m not on my own x

I agree with your mam. I had an awful experience when I was pregnant with my first at a family function where everyone basically stood around laughing about all the negative things that were about it happen to me. It was awful and I'm still annoyed I didn't speak up for myself. And guess what, every single person there went on to have multiple children.

There are so many amazing "just wait" moments. Just wait until you see your baby for the first, you see your partner become a dad (it's actually lovely to witness), your baby smiles for the first time, your baby burps unaided and you beem with pride, your baby holds your finger, your baby becomes a toddler and says I love you.....