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Antenatal/postnatal depression

Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.

Has anybody else's partner left them over PND?

4 replies

MrsSorryNotSorry · 05/03/2025 19:27

Myself and my partner have a LO who is 6 weeks old. PPD and PPA is awful at the moment. Constant crying, arguing and snapping. I work in bereavement at a children's hospital so anxiety is in full swing. I'm so anxious when he takes our little boy out somewhere, and spend most of the time in crisis. However I persevere through it as he's as much as his baby as he is mine, only fair. Our LO also has constipation (being treated) and reflux so spends a LOT of time screaming. I do all the night feeds, and have him in the day time until OH gets back from work - and then look after our 3 other children (2 of which SEN)

OH obviously does not get this in the slightest. Thinks I don't trust him when he is an amazing dad, and I reassure him of this all of the time but it's never enough. He is also struggling with the constant crying, is blaming himself saying I'm unhappy... I've asked for more support at home and have revisited him maybe compromising in stuff like I do everyday for him. This was the straw that broke the camels back.

Ultimately today he left and I feel like I've been plummeted into a new hole. Says he wants space but can't tell me how long for, and is heavily focussing on what would happen if he never returned. I'm heartbroken and I've really struggled to cope today. Says if things are on the up by the weekend he would CONSIDER coming back. I feel like my recovery has gone back 10 steps, I need his support and felt like if I never asked for more help, he ironically wouldn't have left...

I never thought I'd be in this position 6 weeks PN, but acknowledge if he isn't happy then there's nothing I can do. I'm on medication, under perinatal mental health team, have good GP support (my dad is end of life and my mom broke her neck so cannot be of much help)so I'm trying everything I can.

Can a few days worth of space fix this?

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 05/03/2025 19:31

I’m so sorry OP. The early days are so difficult for all parents but especially so when suffering with PPD/PPA. Are you accessing all the support you can for these? Does your partner have any support?

A few days isn’t going to make a difference other than it will have given him some breathing space, and maybe he does need that, but that comes at your expense and that’s not fair. Are there any grandparents or friends who could help out at all?

Mindymomo · 05/03/2025 19:33

I am sorry, you both really seem to have an awful lot on your plate currently and need to try and talk to each other.

GuiltyGiraffe · 05/03/2025 19:37

He sounds like a complete arsehole. So he's just left you to take care of four kids, including a newborn and two with additional needs, when he knows you're struggling with pnd? So he can have "space"? I couldn't forgive him for that. He wouldn't have the option to come back.

NameChanges123 · 05/03/2025 19:48

GuiltyGiraffe · 05/03/2025 19:37

He sounds like a complete arsehole. So he's just left you to take care of four kids, including a newborn and two with additional needs, when he knows you're struggling with pnd? So he can have "space"? I couldn't forgive him for that. He wouldn't have the option to come back.

Edited

Yes, it's pretty shitty behaviour.

I never hear of mums just walking out on their kids so they can 'have a bit of space' because it's all too bloody much (even though it quite often is for us)!

So sorry you're going through this OP xx

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