Hormones or something else?

[illbebetteronsaturn]

I'm not sure which board to post this on – I hope it's okay here. It's health-related but also postnatal.

If anyone has been through similar, I'd be grateful for any advice.

I’m noticing some weird changes with migraine symptoms and plummeting sex drive. There are a couple of things I think it could be (maybe?) but I’m not really sure. I just feel a bit lost right now.

I’m mid-thirties and have a 3yo and a 1yo. I had the Mirena before my pregnancies and didn’t have any issues. I don’t want any more children and had a new Mirena fitted in October 2023.

I started transitioning from exclusively breastfeeding to a mix of bottle/breast in December 2023, and stopped breastfeeding completely in February 2024.

Since Dec 2023 I have been getting migraines – two or three a month. Usually I just get just flashing lights in my vision that don’t last long. But they’ve been getting worse and the last few have sent me to bed for a few hours with queasiness, wooziness, sore head etc. I’d never had a migraine in my life before this.

I’ve tracked the migraines with my cycle but there’s no obvious pattern. My hormonal acne has really flared up the last 2-3 months, so I have cut out dairy as in the past this has been an acne trigger. I’m only three weeks in and I’ve had one migraine but it was much milder than the bad ones I’d been having.

In addition to this, there’s been a huge drop in my sex drive since September/October 2024, and over the last few weeks it has been non-existent. Life is busy with kids and work, but I don’t think this is an issue with being tired or not feeling connected to my husband – he’s great and we share all household responsibilities. I’ve spoken to him about all of this as well and he’s not putting any pressure on me.

I just feel… nothing. I don’t feel turned on or sexual at all. I’m not getting the urge to do anything on my own either, and when I’ve tried it just feels different and really muted. It’s like that part of my body is shutting down. I really don’t want to feel like this!

I didn’t feel a huge identity shift with motherhood, and I don’t think I’ve desexualised myself in that way, but I do feel quite dissociated from my body right now. I've always felt connected to and mostly comfortable in my own skin, and this change feels strange and it's getting me down.

Could it be hormone shifts now that I’m mid-thirties? The GP ran bloods for general health (including FSH hormone as in indicator for peri-menopause) and all looked fine. I didn’t discuss low sex drive as at the time of my appointment I didn’t realise how bad things were getting with that.

I’m going to persevere with no dairy and I’m strongly considering having the Mirena removed. Could it be causing different side effects now than when I was in my twenties?

I’ve seen a postnatal physio and there are no issues there. I’m otherwise active and healthy.

Anyone?

Hi OP! Did you have your iron levels checked? My boy is 15 months. I've felt rough and similar to you for a long time. Turned out my iron is unbelievably low. Been taken prescribed medication for it for 6 weeks and getting better!!

Oh and also... I took cerelle nearly every day for 15 years (with breaks) and since having my son it makes me light bleed every single day and I can't take it any more ... so yes I agree your body can be different to contraception.

Hope that doesn't necessarily help, but you're not going mad!!

Hi Op, you have two very young children so I don't think it's unreasonable for it to be something like post natal depression OR related to hormones, or both combined.

Have you considered removing the Mirena to see if it helps?

I don't think with two young kids its unusual to feel depressed either, they are so young. Migraines aside.

Thank for your reply, @boymama2023. It really does help to be told I'm not going mad! The GP didn't check my ferritin, but my haemoglobin, red cell count and haematocrit are all normal (I think they're the ones connected to iron?). I don't feel particularly weak though, which I think I would be if I was anaemic – or do I have that wrong? Next time I talk to the GP I will query this, thank you.

@leafydog, yes, life is definitely full-on and a little claustrophobic at times. For the most part I feel I handle it pretty well though. I also have ADHD (diagnosed and medicated) and the overstimulation and sensory overload is a lot for me sometimes. I don't feel depressed (and I know what that feels like from pre-ADHD diagnosis) but I suppose there is a lot going on and I don't have much in reserve.

I just feel like my body isn't quite behaving in the way it used to, and I want to be proactive and not just accept it. Next step will be getting the Mirena out, I think.

I didn't. I felt bloody depressed. I have an excellent gp who wanted to do lots of tests first and all my red blood cells were normal too! It's definitely worth a bit of deeper investigation.

But to echo .. absolutely. I only have one, 15 months. And it's hard!! Do you have much help? My new love language is my husband doing things around the house. It's hard to feel in the mood when you're emotionally and physically exhausted

Yeah, I have a great support system, thank you. My husband does absolutely loads – no complaints there. I'm definitely going to ask about ferritin though. Pregnancy and childbirth get all the headlines, but the hormonal and physical aftershocks go on for ages, don't they!

@illbebetteronsaturn yes that sounds especially tough. Especially if you struggle with sensory overload (which I also do). I had just one child but was a lone parent and found it excruciating at times - until my kid was well into primary years!! And with that went a general sense of unwellness and all sorts of autoimmune and hormonal issues alongside depression and stress, especially difficult if you can't get a break or sleep well. It's hard because as a parent there is no way out but "through" and so you have to find small ways of improving things, taking a little break and so on where at all possible.

I'm honestly not sure what to suggest on that front, other than doing stuff for yourself, always have something in the calendar you can look forward to (small or big!), get a space in your house or a time of day you can chill out a bit, and definitely time away from the grind if you possibly can. And go easy on yourself - you don't need to be perfect or "on" all the time! TV on for the kids and chill out if it means a break for yourself.

Adding an update for anyone searching similar topics in the future… I had the Mirena removed three months ago and I am feeling SO much better. I’ve had 3 very mild migraines in that time, when I would have expected to have 12+, the way I was going (and they were getting worse all the time). I’m hoping the migraines eventually stop as whatever imbalance the Mirena was causing settles back to normal. And my sex drive has returned too. I began to notice a difference within a day or two of having the Mirena removed.