I've failed

[lily2256]

Hi. Hope someone might have some advice or similar experience for me.

I returned to work from maternity leave only 2-3 months ago. I'm a single parent and suffered really badly with antenatal/postnatal depression.

Been on sertraline 200mg but still up and down.

Hoped going back to work and routine would help. New team but everyone seems nice and the work isn't bad.

But I've been signed off already for 3 weeks due to suffering from severe panic attacks. I don't know what is bringing them on, then seem to come from nowhere and I'm swearing, shaking, being sick and losing feeling from my fingers up my arms.

I feel so low, so flat. I can barely get out of bed, cook. I take my child to nursery so she still has her routine.

I just feel like a total failure and I don't know what to do. Im worried of what everyone at work will think of me too.

I clearly can't cope with life. I feel useless.

Has anyone else been in this situation and did it get better?

How long have you been on sertraline. Your anxiety needs to be better controlled, can you have access to a prescribing psychiatrist?

Hi. I've been on sertraline for years but the dose has now been upped to 200mg for a few weeks.

I'm under the MH team but rarely have appointments. GP told me to chase them but finding it hard.

That sounds absolutely terrible for you, you poor thing. Please don't feel like a failure, it sounds like you're actually achieving an awful lot whilst feeling absolutely horrific. Panic attacks are the worst, I'm sorry you're suffering like this.

It really sounds like you need to go back to the docs as it's clear you need something more to control the anxiety. I hope you can start to feel a bit better soon x

You are not useless or a failure, I promise you. It's a lot returning to work with a young child, and you're doing it on your own which is even harder.

Thanks for the responses.

I just feel with returning to work, and then this happening so soon- it's been 1 step forward and about 5 steps back.

I'm worried about losing my job or never being right to return to work. Or going back and this happening again.

It just feels never ending and I'm exhausted.