Hello, I’m not sure if what I’m experiencing is ppd/ppa. I think I have been experiencing some anxiety and derealisation but any advice would be helpful. I had my baby via c section under GA, I lost a lot of blood and was in and out of consciousness for 2 days.
My baby is now 5 months old. I have never got that rush of love, I don’t feel bonded to her in a love her to death way I heard about or was expecting. I also don’t feel like a mum I more feel like a baby sitter.
This is going to sound crazy.. but it doesn’t feel like I had a baby, it all feels very surreal and the surreal feeling gives me anxiety. 😢
Just to say she is well looked after and I feel terrible about this, I literally stay up crying about it while she’s asleep
And just to add I have an Angel baby, she is lovely, so easy to look after, hardly cries, is very smiley, easy to soothe and I’m not sleep deprived which makes me feel even worse.
I also tried sertraline for 7 weeks but felt no difference it just made me tired and loose my appetite
also not sure if this factors in but I was told I couldn’t have children and also had the oddest pregnancy where I had no symptoms, literally none I didn’t get a bump until the last trimester and I had an anterior placenta so felt hardly any movement and she came a month early. So she just feels very surreal!