For context - baby is 12 weeks old, I’ve been back at work full time since he was 7 weeks- I do WFH and Husband is still off work ( he’s using the statutory parental leave - we couldn’t afford for me to take this as I earn significantly more than him and was only entitled to 6 weeks full pay ) I have a 9 year old from previous relationship and husband has a 14 year old from previous relationship. I love my husband but right now everything he does irritates me, I’m angry and resentful that he doesn’t earn enough to support me in taking proper time off with our baby, he does his best but needs a lot of support with the house (we have a cleaner once a week so it’s literally just washing, tidying, shopping, cooking and even this I mostly end up doing whilst he holds the baby - he’s even told me he feels overwhelmed with it ) I’m also still doing night feeds ( husband does get up around 5 am with baby but hes so smiley and happy when he wakes Im constantly afraid my baby won’t love me as much or won’t even know me. I was off work for 18 months with my first child and our bond is amazing so this is totally alien to me.
I've just spent the whole weekend playing happy families with step daughter - it’s been non stop but husband expects so much from me, he suggested I need to converse with her more but she’s a sulky teenager with little to say and honestly between working full time, keeping the house, looking after my first child, keeping on top of school admin, homework etc, looking after baby and trying to bond with him, be healthy, eat well, exercise, look nice, see friends and family, and at the end of the day my husband wants to have sex. I feel close to breaking point and like I just can’t keep on at this pace. Is this postnatal depression or am I just doing too much??