Husband says I’m always moaning

[Helpmehelpmuself]

Iv been struggling with Postnatal depression/ anxiety since my baby was born 9 weeks ago. I find myself crying for no reason, being anxious as the day comes to an end and just generally making up weird, wonderful and dangerous scenarios in my head.

I’m very lucky as I have been fortunate enough to have a lot of help from family and friends. Im
not severely sleep deprived (I get at least 5 hours of sleep a night) , Im able to get out for a couple of hours when needed and I have other people who can watch baby so I can do bits around the house.

however after a couple of hours of doing bits round the house and showering I came down to my husband watching baby. He proceeded to tell me I should be more mindful of others who are watching baby whilst I’m getting things done. I naturally given the way I’m feeling got upset and started crying , upon seeing this my husband told me that I’m always moaning, miserable, have it so easy and I don’t seem to ever take a moment to think about him or our daughter. That he can’t leave the house without wondering if I’m having a breakdown and I keep going on about having depression/ anxiety.

now iv spent the last 1.5 hours crying and just need someone to tell me im not any of the above and that despite the help im allowed to feel like this. And yes i know my husband is a a**hat.

Your husband isn’t minding a baby he is parenting.

It sounds like you need to speak to your GP and HV for some support.

He's an arsehole. Ask him as neutrally as you can to read up on PND. If he continues to be an arsehole then it's a permanent state and honestly, you're going to be better off making the break sooner rather than later.

I'm really sorry you're struggling - it's really tough and you cannot 'pull yourself together'/smile through it as he's demanding. Get any psychological help you can and go easy on yourself - it's a him thing, not a you thing.

Have you seeked help for your PND yet?

He proceeded to tell me I should be more mindful of others who are watching baby whilst I’m getting things done
what does this mean? He wasnt watching baby, he was being the father. Does he mean other people? Does he mean you should be quieter? Take the opportunity to sleep instead and pass the list of jobs to your husband.

thanks for the replies everyone and the validation I was seeking.

I’m fully intending to speak to my GP regarding how I feel in the coming week, I speak to my own family about how I feel constantly as I have siblings who have had similar experiences.

He’s not speaking about himself when he says mindful of others he’s referring to the people that help us. It can be quite difficult to calm / settle my daughter in the evening and he doesn’t think everyone can deal with it.

hes generally an amazing husband, I have a history of anxiety and having baby has just amplified it. Im not defending him acting like he has just putting it out there. I will speak to him
about doing his research guess ignorance is bliss and makes you an idiot.

thank you all again :)