Antenatal depression

[whathaveIdone24]

Help! I feel so anxious & down. I am pregnant with second DC whoch we planned & wanted. I am now 6weeks & I just feel so shit. Nausea 24/7 & keep thinking I dont want this baby!! How am I going to survive the next 8 months 😩😥

[Enoughnow131]

This was me 4 months ago! It got really bad. A planned and wanted third and I felt intense regret and didn’t want the baby. Please talk to your doctor. I went on antidepressants and am seeing a therapist and I feel so much better now. You can do this! Hormones mess with us so much.

[whathaveIdone24]

@Enoughnow131 thanks for your reply. Sorry you have been feeling the same. Its awful isn't it. I am already on anti D's. Ive been referred to the mental health team. But im scared incase I end up being told I'm not fit to look after my daughter or something. How did I get from being over the moon and wanting this, to massively regretting 😩😭. Thats great you are feeling so much better❤️

[RoseFirstTimeMum1]

I am having the same struggles. We tried to get pregnant for a while and were very happy when we did. Over the last few weeks I’ve developed crushing antenatal depression and anxiety and it’s been a massive struggle. I’ve reached out to to my gp, midwife, my work counselling programme and NHS taking therapy. The work counselling was awful (just asking generic questions and giving me website links), I’ve been rejected from the perinatal mental health service because I contacted the nhs talking therapy. Having bit of nightmare getting help.

I find the headspace app helps. I try allotting 15 minutes every few hours for worrying and then I shouldn’t worry the rest of the time.

I’ve come in here to connect with other mum’s to be as well so that I don’t feel so alone.

Have you found that anything helps you?

[firstcomeshappiness]

OP I work for a perinatal mental health service. I want to reassure you that we absolutely do not declare you unfit to look after your older child because you are experiencing low mood. Please do not worry and when you have your assessment with perinatal services, be open with them so they can give you all the support you need right now. We are on your side - I promise

[Enoughnow131]

@whathaveIdone24 I was depressed to the point that I ended up in the emergency room and was having suicidal thoughts. Never once did they say anything about me not being able to care for my other two. Everyone was very supportive and caring. They did ask me questions about if I had thoughts of hurting my children etc., but I absolutely did not and they accepted that answer.
@RoseFirstTimeMum1 How far along are you? A few things that helped me get through the hard parts (I'm 22 weeks now and feeling so much better): Journaling - I don't usually journal, but I found it to be a way to get out my frustrations and darkest thoughts without having to fear what others would think. It is too soon for me right now, but eventually I think I'll go back and read the entries from when I was at my worst and be proud of how far I've come.
Leaning on my support system - I talked with my husband and my mom a lot and told them specifically what I needed from them. I asked them to remind me of why I wanted this baby to begin with and explain to me how they could support me after baby arrives so I wouldn't be overwhelmed.
Finally, I reminded myself daily that hormones are real. This was not the real me. The real me made a sound decision to have a baby, and the real me will come back in time.

I really thought I would not survive the pregnancy. I would read posts from women who said "Now I'm in the second trimester and feel so much better." and I'd think "No way will that be me! I will never feel good about this decision. They must not have been as unwell as I am"
Sorry this is so long, but I'm very passionate after going through the worst and scariest experience of my life. Keep reaching out for help. Trust the You who made this decision when you were of sound mind. You will get through this!

[RoseFirstTimeMum1]

Thanks @Enoughnow131 . I am 21 weeks along and my mental health tanked a few weeks ago. Funnily I was actually journaling when I got your message. It is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. I just have no energy, the depression feels like a heavy dark blanket and the as anxiety is like a vibrating balloon in my chest. Like I said I’ve reached out everywhere for help but getting nothing. I am lucky to have a supportive husband and parents though.

[Mumof2soontobe3katy]

Hey ladies how are you all doing…. Hope you don’t mind me jumping in but I’m 19 weeks with very much wanted 3rd but like youse have said everything changed after the first few weeks of absolutely buzzing I am now absolutely riddled with anxiety (mostly about how my anxiety is harming my unborn baby 💔💔) read too much online sadly 😢 but @RoseFirstTimeMum1 i feel your pain about the intense anxiety…. Do you feel like your chest is being crushed constantly? I’m so sorry you ladies are going through this too I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy I just wish could sleep until my baby is here 🙏🏻🙏🏻 xxx

[RoseFirstTimeMum1]

@Mumof2soontobe3katy thanks for your message, it helps to hear from others on the same boat. Some times I feel crushed, sometimes it’s like an expanding vibrating balloon.

The way a good psychiatrist described it to me is that I’m in a permanent state of semi fight or fight which describes it very well. Unfortunately I’m related to that psychiatrist so I can’t see him professionally. The other councillor I have had is pants. Have you reached out for help? There seem to be some stories on here of excellent support and some of abandonment and long waiting lists. It seems to be a lottery…

[whathaveIdone24]

@Mumof2soontobe3katy so sorry your feeling like this too.. its awful isn't it. A very much planned for & wanted second and all I think of is what a terrible mistake we've made. I feel the same about wanting to sleep until baby is here.. I'm so worried about my little girl feeling left out.. even though she will only be 3 and I know she absolutely wont be left out at all.. If anything, she will likely be spoiled even more so. The sickness and gut wrenching feeling is awful. At times I just wish I wasn't pregant😩😭 its nice to know we are not alone though 🙏 we need to just keep talking out our feeling @RoseFirstTimeMum1 xxx

[RoseFirstTimeMum1]

I just never expected to feel like this

[whathaveIdone24]

@RoseFirstTimeMum1 me neither.. especially since having my first baby.. was the best thing I ever done. I love being a mummy. Our mental health can just hit hard at times can't it. Suppose we should try to remember we will have our little babas at the end of this & hopefully make us all better😥🙏

[RoseFirstTimeMum1]

thanks @whathaveIdone24 , I’m trying very hard to see the positives

[whathaveIdone24]

@RoseFirstTimeMum1 its really hard I know. Im sitting here feeling like my heart is going to pump out of my chest. Getting worked up again over it. Just saying 'i don't want this' 😩😥 its horrible💔

[Mumof2soontobe3katy]

It’s so incredibly cruel isn’t it?! When are you ladies due? Sending massive long hugs to you all I hope the next 20 weeks go quickly and I can get on top of this anxiety 🙏🏻🙏🏻 I’m due end of April xxxx

[RoseFirstTimeMum1]

Mid April for me

[Nell23]

Hey ladies... finding myself in the same situation now, severe antenatal anxiety. Planned tgirs pregnancy. Still in forst trimester but struggling to see how ill cope for the next few months. Feeling low and worried.
How are you all now? Did it ease as pregnancy progressed? Thanks

[Enoughnow131]

@Nell23 So sorry you’re feeling down. It’s so awful to go through. I’m 35 weeks now and doing great thanks to anti depressants, therapy, and time. It all eased for me around 22 weeks and now I’m feeling nervous but excited. Definitely reach out for help if you continue to feel low. You can do this.

[Nell23]

@Enoughnow131 Thanks for reaching out. I'm praying as pregnancy progresses hormones will settle and hopefully anxiety will too. Its such a horrible feeling. X