Hello,
So I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant soon to be 24 and I've been struggling. Not sure it is antenatal depression but a case of too much going on and not enough breathing space but maybe I'm in denial. Who knows?
I found out I was expecting baby no.2 in February. I had a missed miscarriage last June when I was thought to be ten weeks but baby stopped growing at five. Not long after I found out DD who was two at the time wasn't settling at nursery which was unusual as she loves going.
By the time March came round she was hiding in corners and straining with her no.2's, only passing very small pellets frequently but no big movements. Despite us trying to give her a healthy diet she constantly turns her nose up at it while she was fine up until 18 months when it all changed. It's not surprising doctor diagnosed constipation and put her on stool softeners to see if that would help. It didn't and eventually it led to her being prescribed laxido.
Then just as the Easter holidays were ending we received a phone call from nursery saying OFSTED had closed them for six weeks while they investigated a risk to to the children. It's still not known what the risk was and it has nearly been twelve weeks now since the initial suspension. We have tried needlessly to get her into a nursery since but they are all full and not taking until September. Tried with childminder's too but they're the same which is understandable. There were a lot of children at the nursery so we expected it to be bad. We have since been doing preschool things with her at home but she is missing that socialisation she would get with others her age at nursery and her temperament has worsened as a result.
We only recently told her about the baby as there were a lot of scares and we didn't want to tell her unless we were absolutely certain things were OK. I know there is never a safe point in pregnancy. She talks about the baby sometimes and I'm not sure if her temperament has changed due to the news or whether it is just a mixture of everything.
I'm exhausted mentally and physically. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel this is similar to when I had postnatal depression when she was born but not entirely sure. We have hardly no support, just DH's mum who has her twice sometimes three times a week. I know we do need more support but not sure where to look. Both DH and I have abusive family backgrounds so we have made the decision to go no contact for that reason alone.
I just feel like I am failing her as a mum and I am.