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Antenatal/postnatal depression

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feeling triggered

1 reply

poochie9 · 26/05/2023 22:35

i have managed over the past few months to drag myself out of the dark hole of pnd/ocd. It has been tough and tbh I know I’m not fully out of it but I can at least see the light now.
some of my closest friends have since had babies and I’ve now found myself comparing our experiences of our earliest experiences of motherhood. I of course know that each mothers journey will be different and unique but I can’t help but feel so sad at how different my experience has been in comparison. I’m still battling everyday with the guilt of how I was in those first few weeks. The beautiful wholesome baby bubble that I’d expected was so far away from what I’d experienced. I can’t help but feel almost jealous (not an emotion I’m used to feeling) and like I let my little girl down.

im grateful that the medication has got me to a position that I can function and started to be present in my little girls life, I am trying. But I’m also fully aware of what was, trying to process everything that happened. The birth, the total lack of any feeling, good or bad, the fact at times I thought that she would be better off without me.
it hurts. I am so happy for my friends and the safe arrival of their healthy babies and I would never ever wish what happened to me to happen to them or any other women ever l. But yes, apart of me is feeling extremely triggered by them having the birth they wanted and getting to experience those first few weeks completely besotted with their babies.

I don’t know what else to do to help me move past this, to accept what has happened. If I ever will. The fear that relationship with my daughter will somehow always be tainted by this is always there

am I alone in feeling like this? 😣

OP posts:
PinkMimosa · 01/06/2023 21:10

After being on MN for too many years I can tell you that you're definitely not alone in what happened to you.

I honestly think that SM is to blame for a lot of this. People seem to have really idealised ideas if what having a baby will be like and I don't know anyone who had a "wholesome bubble".

I can remember begging DH to rake out DC1 in the night because I hadn't slept for over 24 hours and I could regularly be found walking around Tesco at 4 in the morning because it was the only place the little sod would sleep.

I'm just wondering if you're having any ongoing support to help you come to terms with what you went through?

You have done amazingly well. You've taken the medication that was offered and you're in a much better place already and often it's the Mums who appear to have it all under control are the ones who are the most anxious.

I hope you do manage to get the support you need Flowers

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