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Antenatal/postnatal depression

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Secret life?

3 replies

aliatalia · 08/05/2023 10:08

Hi,

I have a problem with my husband. Although we are married and have a 1 year old, we have never lived together. I have always wanted us to live together like a family, but he never recognises my emotional needs or my loneliness at having to take care of a severely disabled child all alone.

He says he is busy with his studies and spends all his weekends taking exams and his week working. I don't know if he is actually studying or where he works, because he hides everything from me.

I get no child maintenance or support from him and am paying all my rent and bills from my savings. I have asked him to allow me to live with him to save money as we're struggling, but he refuses to. He also locks his bedroom when I visit him.

In the past he lied to me about his nationality and he has no social media or internet presence for me to crosscheck anything about him.

I have never been introduced by him to family or friends, although I am desperate to meet them. I don't understand why I am hidden or a secret. I thought he has a secret wife and a child, but so far I've found no evidence. What shall I do?

OP posts:
greenlychee · 08/05/2023 10:10

honestly I think you should leave! and maybe hire a private investigator to find out more about what he's up to.

Ultimatum as well, if you don't let me into your life more then we split up by X date.

Don't stay with this man he is taking you for a ride.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 15/05/2023 19:32

It sounds as though he's lying to you and doesn't care for you or your LO. You are bearing a huge burden, physically, emotionally and financially.

I'm so sorry @aliatalia but in your position I would speak to Women's Aid ad I believe that you are in an abusive relationship and need some support to leave him.

After you've spoken to them, I'd start Divorce proceedings.

You then need to speak to a Solicitor about getting a Financial Order in place.

Does he see your LO at all? If he's not paying anything, after you've done the above steps I'd apply for CMS.

Qbish · 15/05/2023 19:35

Yes, he has a secret wife and child. You.

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