It’s been a while since I posted publicly on here. After I had my little girl and suffered with the most horrific PND/ocd i spent hours on this website looking for some glimmer of hope. A story that related to me, that let me know that everything was going to be alright.
After some really bleak, dark and scary months and with lots of support from the perinatal mental health team and medication, I started to feel better. I had more good days, then more food weeks. I was coping and I started fo feel like I was actually living again.
then this last week happened and I feel like I have taken a million steps backwards in my recovery. I don’t know if it’s the broken sleep and conversations about returning to work, but things are starting to feel bleak again. My mind has been racing, I’ve started to loose motivation - not as badly as before, but definitely less than previous weeks where I’d felt better. I can’t even pin point what it is that’s made me feel like this. I just know that I’m tired, my brain feels so noisy and I’m bloody petrified of going back to the place I was In mentally a few months ago. I really thought I’d turned a corner. I hope this is just a blip but the fact that I’m back on here, searching for similar threads on pnd again, makes me feel like it could be something more.
i knew recovery wasn’t going to be easy. I’m just surprised that I was doing so well and now I’m struggling again.
i picked up on the pnd very early and my little girl was very much still in the newborn phase when I was at mt worst, which meant I could hide how badly I was really feeling from her. She was unaware. At nearly 6 and a half months now she’s so switched on, she takes everything in and I just don’t want to go to pieces. I’m trying to be strong for her but I am worried about what’s going to happen and if I’ll ever really escape from this fully
has anyone here experienced a similar set back in their own recovery from this shitty illness?