Need advice with the way I’m feeling

[Katiejwood]

Hi all

I currently have a 4 week old new born son and have been really struggling with my feelings, emotions and know it is postnatal depression. I had quite a traumatic birth and I’m struggling to come to terms with my new life of being a mum.
Things have really spiralled the last few days and I really feel I can’t cope. I love my son but feel I can’t get a proper bond/connection with him due to my feelings of depression. (He also is suffering from reflux and is very unsettled which doesn’t help).

On top of this, I am really struggling to get support from my partner. I’ve tried to explain my feelings but he keeps dismissing it and saying ‘it’s one of your episodes, you’ll get over it’. It took me a lot to express my feelings and he is not acknowledging it or supporting me. We currently are both living with our parents and I’ve been living with him since baby arrived 4 weeks ago and feel so alone. He can be quite a hot head and is quite logical but I need emotional support. He does not understand the extent of what I’m feeling and I don’t feel I can approach him to tell him how bad I am feeling.

I hate to admit it but I can’t get the suicidal thoughts to leave my head. I don’t see a way out.

I’ve logged an online request with my GP as it is currently a Sunday so hoping they will get back to me next week to see if they can help.

I just can’t see how I will feel better. I’m so overwhelmed and don’t think I’m able to be a good mum. I’m struggling to even want to look at my son, I dread the evenings and feel I can’t do it.

Will it get better?

[Hana89]

Hi @Katiejwood have you been able to talk to your midwife or health visitor about your feelings? They may be able to offer some more support around your mental health because taking care of you is just as important as taking care of baby.
I have a 4 week old baby girl and have found the sleep deprivation really hard going - I don't think I had PND but certainly the sleeplessness laid me very low and some days I have really struggled to feel that deep love and connection to my baby through the fog of exhaustion.
Everyone says it gets better after 6 - 8 weeks old, and I'm sure it will for us too but do reach out to your medical professionals in the meantime so they can offer extra help and support xxx

[PritiPatelsMaker]

Will it get better?

Oh bless you @Katiejwood, yes it definitely will.

Have you managed to speak to your HV or GP yet?