Loneliness

[sabinaax93]

After having a baby and partners gone back to work, does anyone else feel extremly lonely?

Hi OP it is several years since I was at the newborn stage but your title rang loud bells for me so I'm dropping in to say hello.

I remember vividly feeling lonely - and bored - and I guess the two things feed each other. I suspect I had undiagnosed PND as life felt extremely bleak.

The things that helped me were to try and have one thing arranged each day, even if just a solo walk, to get out of the house (and preferably be in nature/get fresh air). Sometimes having a purpose for the walk such as going for a paper can help. When you're ready, baby and toddler groups can be a great boost. Seeing friends for a coffee (at home or out) was very helpful. Do you have NCT or other friends/family who are around in the day?

What is your partner like when they come home? Are they 'present' if you see what I mean? I wish I'd tried harder to discuss my feelings and what would help in this regard.

It's not easy. And for me it was unexpected as it hadn't really been talked about, the loneliness.

Yes, it's so odd before I had my baby I was comfortable in my own company and never felt lonely but now it's overwhelming at times. I was doing better but feel like I've taken a step back, I had my mums company for two weeks and she's gone home so hoping it eases again. I intend to join some baby groups but not very confident in social situations.

The loneliest and most boring experience of my life. I went back to work pt at four and five months each time. It absolutely saved me.
I didn't have PND. Just needed a regular break from childcare. Walks and baby groups didn't cut it and I wasn't prepared to feel like that.
Now 19 and 17 and never a single regret.

Yes, so lonely and frightened. For me and I think most people, it does get better. It's a massive change to your life and I definitely thought well what the f* do I do now? the day my DH went back to work but you find a new groove. As others have said go out every day even for a little bit, plan things so you have something to focus on, Covid is making life pretty horrible right now but try to see friends if you can/ feel able to - same with baby groups.

100% yes!! So lonely! No family near by and too anxious to join any indoor clubs because of covid.

hi, sorry you feel that way ineedakip, please feel free to message, take it easy

Yes. I was really lonely, it's definitely not you. I was used to a busy, sociable job and suddenly everyone I knew was working and I was stuck at home with a sleeping baby. I hated mum & baby groups. I was cross-eyed with boredom. .

Luckily ds was an easy baby so I bought a sling and went hiking. I did the Ridgeway, lots of the South Downs. Chatted to people along the way. It turned into a brilliant summer.

Can you have days out to places you have never visited? Take a camera and a picnic. Turn it into a photo book to share with your child later.

@theare

hi, sorry you feel that way ineedakip, please feel free to message, take it easy

It's awful, feeling very low and that I'm failing my little one :(