Scared about PND again.

[StressedButBlessedx]

Help would be appreciated please!!

So I'm just wondering if anyone is in the same/has been in the same boat as me. (Apologies for the long story in advance)

So after having my gorgeous daughter almost 2 and a half years ago I went through possibly the darkest point in my life. Looking back now I absolutely am sure I had post natal depression but I hid it very well and couldn't bring myself to go to my midwife or doctor to be officially diagnosed. I didn't leave the house, stopped caring for myself, didn't eat, didn't sleep... just a really hard time to be honest. I think being a young mum (19 at the time) made it harder because I was so scared to be judged.

Now, I'm 23 weeks pregnant which I am absolutely over the moon about and am incredibly grateful and lucky, also epileptic.. but I'm so scared. I feel like after my little boy is born I've got even more to be self conscious of this time around. Being 22 walking around with a little girl and a baby I'm so scared what people will be thinking. Stupid, I know but I just can't help it.

I really don't want to feel and go to that dark place again. I'm going to talk about this to my midwife next week but I was wondering if anyone has any first hand, real life advice about this and how to stop it in its tracks. I'm open minded to try anything. I have SO much support from my husband and family but in my head it's very difficult and I'm a pro at hiding this now.

Following as I also had pnd but didn't get diagnosed officially. The first three months of my DD's life were very difficult despite a lot of support. I dread feeling like that again.

@PlantDoctor

Following as I also had pnd but didn't get diagnosed officially. The first three months of my DD's life were very difficult despite a lot of support. I dread feeling like that again.

Sorry you went through this, but reassuring for us both going through the same thing :) x

Bump

Here's another bump, just in case anyone has some reassurance/experience to share!

Also been wondering if anyone had PND first time round and not second. I hit PND bingo with moving abroad, multiple losses pre DD and a traumatic birth. Making me feel having a second is a bad idea.

I had major PND with my first and managed to dodge it with my second!

I put more things in place, saw the peri-natal mental health team, my HVs knew and were supportive, I looked after myself, combi fed so could have some night undisturbed, ate healthy, asked for help when I needed it and knew I’d never have to have a baby again helped!

I'm in the same boat exactly. I'm terrified of getting it again but since I've had it twice I'm expecting it to reappear.
I've told my dh how to help and how to recognise it but honestly I don't have much hope in him, not his fault but he's not good at coping with me when I get in that dark place, I descrive it as if I'm in a dark fog and i can't get out.
I'm absolutely petrified but I've been making a list on my phone of all the things I need to force myself to do to feel better.things I know have worked in the past so I really hope I can stick to them as when I'm depressed I don't feel like doing a thing and it makes it much worse.
I hope we're all fine this time round and we always have here to ask for help

Hello! Fellow PND mum here. I had it pretty much immediately after my first boy was born. Worst time of my life. Took a good year to recover and I’d say a good 2/3 to realise I wanted a second child. My second boy is now six months old and I (think) have swerved it this time. I really put the work in during pregnancy. Had therapy throughout and went back on medication at 16 weeks as I started feeling anxious again about pnd. I knew the minute my second son was born that I felt differently. It was such a healing experience for me (elective caesarean) and he’s literally a dream baby. I feel so grateful, but I did work hard on my mental health to get where I am now. There’s a fab book called ‘what am I thinking? Having another baby after postnatal depression’ Good luck x

@StressedButBlessedx
I am so sorry you experienced PND too, I had it with my little girl 3 and a half years ago. It never completely went away. I am now 33 weeks pregnant with my second. I also have epilepsy and that was a massive part of my PND depression.

I have read into the PND and links to hormones a lot during this pregnancy. Those with a history of PND are 89% more likely to experience it again. However those who are treated with progesterone after birth, contraceptive injection or implant are most effective forms have around a 57% chance of experiencing it again. It is the crash in both hormones, but massively more progesterone which triggers the baby blues which in some cases like ours does not go away.
A nice bonus is progesterone also has a calming effect on seizures so double bonus in our case.

I have decided to go on Zoloft (can’t remember it’s proper name in the uk) after this baby, I’ve just been “off” for so long and my babies deserve a better mum than I currently am.

Definitely speak to your GP about some kind of talking therapies they can offer you, as you are pregnant you should get prioritised too.

Really wish you the best of luck, and congratulations