I hate every second

[bekaf]

I'm 29, and almost 7 weeks pregnant with my first. Both me and my partner were unsure if we could have children so whilst we were ttc it was a bit of a shock to get the bfp

I've been diagnosed and seeking treatment for depression and anxiety for a few years now, but it seems like the pregnancy hormones have made my mental health take a plunge. I've found myself hating every second of my journey so far, and would even go as far as to say I'm resenting my baby and my partner.

I guess there isn't any real question here other than what do I do? Has anyone else felt this way? Does it get better?

and handhold.

No idea of what you are going through but I did not feel excited. At all. I thought I would be a bad mother, would lose my life as I knew it, and my identity. I even imagined I would have the baby call me by my name, so far removed I was from thinking of myself as a mum.

He came along and I cried all night thanking a God I had previously never believed in for this amazing being.

It was, still is, the best thing that ever happened to me.

I know this will all sound alien to you. It would have to me when I was pregnant.

See GP. Hang in there.

I suffer with depression and anxiety, I also felt awful for the first few weeks, I was very anxious and having strange and unpleasant thoughts and everything. The funny thing is we all tend to think we're alone with how we're feeling but it's not the case. I went into the second trimester feeling really good and I think the balance out of hormones by this point really helped my mood.
Stay strong, as I'm sure you've experienced before, this too shall pass 😊

I was exactly the same OP. I hated being pregnant, didn’t want a child anyway and I just felt like I was suddenly losing me and everything about me.

Even on the day I went for my planned c-section I was looking up ways to sign over the baby to my partner so I could have nothing to do with her.

Then, the moment she was born it was like the clouds had disappeared and the sun was finally shining. I fell in love there and then.

I wasn’t diagnosed with antenatal depression but I think is did have it. Wish I’d been able to talk to someone but I was shoved from midwife to consultant to midwife to consultant due to my age so had no one to speak to.

OP, speak to your midwife and tel them how you are feeling. You aren’t the only one ever to feel like this.

Thank you for the responses!

My GP has been close to useless throughout all of this, but I have my first appointment in 2 weeks so will bring it up with them then. (It should have been earlier as I'm classed as high risk, but they seem to not be taking that into consideration)

It's just nice to know im not alone. Everyone keeps telling me that the moment baby arrives everything will be worth it... I just feel like I'm going to be counting down every moment until then.

I found early pregnancy hormones really tough and things got much better after about 14 weeks although I'm not sure if ever felt real. I just wanted to add that not everyone falls straight away in love with their babies - I did with two of mine but not with one, maybe because of a difficult birth. The love came later though so also don't worry or feel like something is wrong with you if you don't feel anything straight away.

I felt exactly the same. It was almost worse, because I'd been longing for a baby.

My advice is to be very clear with the GP about how bad you are feeling. Don't say things like 'not too bad' or 'it could be worse'.

for you. I loved my baby an overwhelming amount once they arrived, and went on to do it again.

@bekaf. How are you now? Feeling for you.

Why isn’t this spoken about more?! I never realised in a million years that’ antenatal depression was a thing.

@ED81 I'm mentally in a much better place now, thank you! (Though morning sickness has now taken me down!)

I know what you mean, I felt so alone those first few weeks, if it was more spoken about I think just knowing I'm not the only person to have ever been in that situation would have helped!

@bekaf.
I hope you are continuing to feel ok.

If only pregnancy was all flowers and rainbows!xx

Hi All,

Thanks for these very honest and reassuring posts. I'm pregnant with a longed for child and yet terrified and slipping into depression. Will seek help immediately.

How is everyone doing now?