Someone help or give me advice…

[Halli2020]

Currently 11 weeks pregnant following two ectopics last year which was pretty traumatic so most likely have ptsd due to it.
Planned pregnancy but since I’ve been about 6 weeks pregnant I have been tearful and filled with dread and anxiety. This is a much wanted baby but I keep thinking what if I’m a crap mum, what if I can’t do this, why have I done this?
And I feel terrible for these thoughts.
Am I normal or crazy? Is this hormones? I am on antidepressants and I’m meant to be seeing someone soon about my mental health. I’ve always suffered with anxiety and it would get 10x worse around the time of my period so I’m really hoping it’s hormonal. Most likely won’t breast feed now due to how the hormones are affecting me
Most likely will be my last child after this! Yes it’s put me off that much. I so desperately wanted to be a mum now it’s happened all I can think it omg what am I going to do now? Partner is supportive but I suppose doesn’t understand female emotions much.

I’m a terrible person for thinking this way.

Someone please chat to me or tell me I’m normal

Hi @Halli2020, I just wanted to reply to say that I have felt the same way. I'm 14+5 days pregnant and always wanted to be a mum but now I am doubting whether I want a baby, if I like babies and if I will love my baby. I have been on sertraline for about 7 weeks and it has definitely helped me to have more positive moments, and I have been having some counselling, but it is a slow process and I'm just trying to be patient. I would just like to you to know you are not alone and to make sure you speak to your GP/midwife to get the help you need. There is lots of support out there and hearing how common this is can be quite reassuring. Don't try and do this alone - you don't need to! X

Hi, just wanted to pop in and reply. My oldest is now 21, when I was pregnant with her I was terrified, depressed and full of anxiety. I had suffered terrible mental health, including an eating disorder, when I conceived. I did not think I'd love her, didn't think I could be a mum at all given I was such a mess. I was under psychiatric care the entire pregnancy. But, when she was born something magical and unexpected happened, I fell in love and knew, no matter how tough it would be..I could do this. Her birth started my path to real recovery from a horrendous eating disorder.

It's totally normal to feel this way, dont beat yourself up. When I had my 2nd and 3rd I still felt like that whilst pregnant