Pandemic Birth Trauma, anyone else?

[Abs48]

Hi, new to Mumsnet. I gave birth June 2020, & I’ve been really struggling with the circumstances surrounding my sons birth. Like most hospitals back then visiting was restricted to active labour only and my husband was asked to leave just an hour after giving birth, after quite a difficult birth ending in an emergency c-section. He couldn’t come back to visit and i was completely out of it, I can’t really remember that day at all, other than a great feeling of loneliness and sadness when it should of been a day to celebrate with my husband.

I was discharged quicker than they should of following an emergency c-section but then struggled with feeding and found we couldn’t access any community support (no face to face visits). Our only option was to go to a&e, again my husband couldn’t support and I was becoming more and more exhausted & sleep deprived whilst carrying a baby in out and a&e by myself. We eventually got readmitted but so a ward for 2-12 year olds, it was awful, absolutely unbearable and I felt like I’d been locked up! They wouldn’t allow me any privacy and put me on a really crowded bay with a 5 year old. They didn’t give me any breastfeeding support (because it was a ward for 2-12 year olds) and I was classed as a visitor so no one recognised that I was recovering from surgery. It was awful, I tried to block it out for months and was preoccupied with looking after our son, but at about 6 months I really started to feel the trauma. Anyone else have similar experiences?

So sorry you had that experience. Truly horrific.

Just to add I feel like mums who gave birth at the beginning of the pandemic, were incredibly let down by policy makers and were such an afterthought, I know things have got better for Mums giving birth now but it really was a perfect storm for us 2020 mums. I just feel incredibly let down and that we just a forgotten cohort of women who were expected to stomach the unthinkable.

@Abs48

I'm so sorry what you had to go through.

I also had a very traumatic birth in August 2020. I lost 2.1 litres of blood and had to stay in hospital with baby for 5 days after the birth without any support, nobody was allowed to visit me.

I'm hugely traumatised by the entire experience and have daily flashbacks.

So sorry to hear this and I am sorry you were so poorly after giving birth. I just feel it was totally unnecessary to make us go through this, particularly as cases were so low over June- August. I’ve started accessing therapy through the hospital, I made a point of doing this, so they understand the impact and that it’s not without consequence.

So sorry this happened to you both.

I gave birth April 2020. It was horrendous in many ways. I was induced. DH wasn't allowed to come. I had an extreme reaction to the induction drugs and a quick labour. Midwives didn't believe how quickly I was progressing (despite me telling them) so I laboured alone and with no pain relief. They didn't call DH in time to come and he missed the birth. He was allowed to visit for an hour to meet DS then had to leave.

I was sent home too early. We were readmitted back into hospital on day 5 which meant me going back to A&E alone.

When we were home the second time, I couldn't access any community support. No face to face breastfeeding support. Health visitors refused to weigh baby (despite me having been induced in the first place due to his low weight). I ended up weighing him myself every month and plotting in the red book to keep track. I really really tried to breastfeed but gave up after 3 months because I just couldn't get it right on my own.

I made a complaint to the hospital which was upheld and they apologised unreservedly. It hasn't made me feel any better about it though. I feel so let down. I've started psychotherapy this week which I'm hoping will help.

Sending lots of empathy and love

This feels so similar to our experience, expected to face a lonely traumatic birth and then have no services to support afterwards. It was horrific. We complained recently (because it took me a while to deal with the trauma and realise I wasn’t to blame) and the hospital just apologised unreservedly but it doesn’t change the life changing experience. I am sorry you went through this and I hoping sharing experiences will help!

I hope so too!