Struggling & gaining weight

[Ladyraven0483]

My baby is 6 months and recently I’ve noticed I’ve started feeling depressed. The last few months I’ve started spending like mad and since the lockdown ended I’ve been out couple times a week shopping, I’ve now stopped myself from going out spending so I’ve thankfully nipped that in the bud. Now I seem to be over eating. I don’t know why I do it, I find once my child is in bed asleep I either have a takeaway or a big home cooked meal and then loads of crap after it. I think about what I will have for tea all day and look forward to it, I feel like I don’t have much else to look forward to then that makes me feel like a shit mom :(
After years of infertility and ivf I’m over the moon to have my longed for baby but I just feel so bored and rubbish about myself.
I started walking every day with the pram but would end up in a shop or up the town spending. I want to start going for just walks and not make it about spending or eating.
Any tips? I really need to help myself feel better and lose weight too

I just typed a massive response and lost it!!!
Will try again - first thing re: depression is to talk to GP or HV (or start with a trusted friend). You may or may not need professional support.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I'm 10 months post birth, just finished my antidepressants, and think I weigh more than I did 5 months ago. I often find it daunting &scary (previously thin, calorie counter, 8miles a day walks). Firstly, you're only 6 months in so cut yourself some slack. I've allowed myself a good cry. It's too easy to pick toast over an apple when you're so exhausted, of course you turn to food as it gives you a lift.
I also developed a shopping addiction during mat leave (mine was real crap like lottery tickets and supermarket sweeps!). You already know it gives you a boost, you're probably feeling insecure and need that pick me up. The trick for me was to leave my cards at home and try to beat my previous lap time by 15 seconds.
I've also realised, there is no 'pre' or 'post' baby body, it's just my body and it's performed a bloody miracle recently! It's hard and all tied up in how you see yourself, but i've come to respect it (first time ever) and how tough I now feel. I'm back at work now, so less inclined to inhale toast and hoping the extra stone(s?!?!) will slowly shift. Remember it's not forever, this boredom. Enjoy your baby, and try to remember what fulfills you (you're not just a mum) and slowly start to make space for it. It gets better x