*Sensitive topic*. Termination

[ED81]

This isn’t meant to be offensive to anyone, just my experience.

I have always been ambivalent about having children but DH and I decide it was a now or never situation so we decided to try. We were successful and I became pregnant this year. The day I found out I was pregnant I instantly felt like it was wrong, there was no joy at all and only regret. I didn’t want my life to change and that I liked being child free. I didn’t want sleepless night, relationship pressure or to worry about childcare or be a constant entertainer. I like lay ins, long baths, going away whenever or watching tv undisturbed.

A month later I had a termination and felt instantly lighter and brighter. My DH was supportive and was also his preference to terminate.

I’ve now done reading on pregnancy depression. I’m now wondering if this is what I had? Or was it just pure and simple that I didn’t want to have a baby and now looking for excuses? I still believe the termination was correct for us. I do sometimes wonder “what if”........

Any guidance would be appreciated.

Hi there, saw your post and wanted to reply. I personally struggled a lot with prenatal depression and felt a lot of the same emotions you describe. I went back and forth on the issue of whether to proceed but at a gut level, knew it was something I wanted to carry on with.

It sounds like you followed your gut instinct here as well and made a decision that was the right one - you never really know what your reaction will be until you're in that situation and dealing with the reality as opposed to the concept of a child in theory. Far worse would be having a child you didn't really want. I think whether you end up having a child or not, you do wonder "what if" and look at the road not taken with envy or self-doubt. I hope you're doing ok now and feeling a bit more comfortable with your decision - be kind to yourself right now. x

@ED81

This isn’t meant to be offensive to anyone, just my experience.

I have always been ambivalent about having children but DH and I decide it was a now or never situation so we decided to try. We were successful and I became pregnant this year. The day I found out I was pregnant I instantly felt like it was wrong, there was no joy at all and only regret. I didn’t want my life to change and that I liked being child free. I didn’t want sleepless night, relationship pressure or to worry about childcare or be a constant entertainer. I like lay ins, long baths, going away whenever or watching tv undisturbed.

A month later I had a termination and felt instantly lighter and brighter. My DH was supportive and was also his preference to terminate.

I’ve now done reading on pregnancy depression. I’m now wondering if this is what I had? Or was it just pure and simple that I didn’t want to have a baby and now looking for excuses? I still believe the termination was correct for us. I do sometimes wonder “what if”........

Any guidance would be appreciated.

You did the right thing, abortion's are not offensive, so don't ever feel like you're offending anyone, it's your choice at the end of the day and it sounds like you made the right one xx

I have had 2 children and a termination.

With my 2nd child I actually hoped for a miscarriage (that makes me sound awful but I didn't realise I was suffering at the time)
I was so worried I wouldn't love the baby, I cried pretty much daily and even considered on several occasions having a secret termination.
I didn't and of course, I absolutely adored the little one when he came out.

I then fell pregnant when he was 2.5yrs old. I knew instantly I didn't want another child, regardless of how I felt after having my last one.
I had the termination and don't regret it at all. It was the right thing for me and my family at that time.
I do think about it but I don't dwell on it.
Your feelings are normal and pre natal depression is very real, and actually not enough is known about it.
I hope you're OK.