Hi everyone,
Not really asking anything here - guess I’m just looking a hand hold. Feeling pretty low.
FTM here. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy 4 weeks ago.
It was a very long and difficult labour with intervention. It lasted 16 hours. I also spent 48 hours on an induction ward prior to that. Without going into too many details I was there 6 days in total. The midwives weren’t one bit nice or helpful. I was pretty poorly after I had my baby and due to Covid my husband had to leave pretty much immediately after I gave birth and wasn’t allowed to see me again until I was being picked up to come home. I sat alone with my baby literally begging staff to help me. I felt so helpless.
When I eventually got home days later I had to get my husband to help me shower. I still had the vomit in my hair from when I was sick in labour. I tore my chest wall in labour and couldn’t lift my arms above my head. I begged nurses and care assistants to help me get a bath/shower the entire time I was there but everyone was always too busy or they promised they would and then never got around to it.
I struggled to feed my baby, change him, dress him. It was agony lifting him or trying to get out of bed to do anything. I was made feel like an inconvenience if I rang the bell for anything.
The community midwives visited me at home after the birth read my notes and were horrified that I was sent back to a ward in a wheelchair without my husband literally 40 minutes after my baby was born. They said they weren’t surprised as the maternity ward I was on doesn’t have the best reputation.
I know I’m probably rambling on and it maybe doesn’t sound that bad but it was honestly the most horrendous experience of my life. I just can’t seem to get past it. I literally have nightmares every night about being back in that hospital. I cry when I think about it too much. 