Unsure what to do - twin pregnancy

[Bean18]

Hi, I’ve already got a 2 year old DC and wanted to have a sibling. 2 weeks ago at first scan we found out that we’re expecting twins but I’m really struggling to come to terms with the fact it’s twins and petrified I’ll not be able to mentally cope/be happy and regret them later on. DP and I never wanted more than 2, and I struggled during my DC’s first year (unofficial PND) however I thought if I had 1 more it would feel manageable with support.

I’m really confused and not certain what to do (am pro-choice) especially as already have 1 DC (would probably feel different if first pregnancy as only one pregnancy!), and I know I may regret either way I proceed.

Did anybody else feel the same as me, and can they share how they felt after they made decision to either continue or stop the pregnancy?

Twins at the second pregnancy was one of my biggest fears. I coped fine with dc1 in as much as I wanted her/loved her/nourished her. But the idea of three children was almost enough to prevent me even trying for a second. Second to the scan showing a healthy baby, I was so relieved to see it only showed one baby.

I dont know what to suggest, as I am not you. I am also pro choice, and would have considered my options, as you are.

Best of luck to you, and I hope someone who has gone through this (on either side) is able to offer a more practical reply than mine.

This happened to me. My DS had just turned 2 when I found out I was pregnant with twins. I never wanted three, wasn't even sure I wanted two, I'd have been happy to stick with one. I found being a mum really hard first time around, like you, possibly undiagnosed PND. I had some really awful thoughts when I found out, I was just in so much shock and couldn't bear to imagine the future. I didn't seriously think about not continuing the pregnancy, but it did briefly cross my mind. I spent the whole pregnancy really, really scared. Everyone thought I should be really happy, and I wasn't.

Then they arrived, and to be honest, the first year is a complete blur. However, they were "easier" babies, although there was two of them. They slept through earlier than my first, we all got into a routine that at times was tough, but manageable. And I don't have even the slightest suspicion that I had PND with them. Everything felt different.

Now, they've just turned five. And gradually life got easier. They don't always get along, and they cause all sorts of trouble, but I can't imagine differently now. I sometimes still feel sorry for my older one that they were inflicted on him. They're still less independent, so I've had to help them more than him with homeschooling, for example. But it now feels like this is just how things were meant to be.

You're not alone in what you're thinking. And your thoughts aren't wrong. Only you can decide what to do, what's best for you and for your family. If you decide to go ahead, there's support out there. Just ask for it.