Feeling desperate?

[PeachDaisy]

I'm 13 weeks pregnant, my first trimester has been an absolute nightmare in terms of mood swings, being frustrated and not feeling myself. I had a few good days last weekend and felt really positive and my partner said I seemed to be myself, however the last three days I have just been inconsolable. I saw my baby at the 12 week scan and felt absolutely nothing towards it, I wasn't excited. My partner hasn't been very emotionally supportive at all and it's not his first child so I was under the impression he'd kinda know how to deal with it. He's said that his feelings have changed towards me in the past couple of months which I feel is unfair because I have been going through a lot? I am totally trapped because I just keep having invasive thoughts or self harm and suicide and I can not stop crying, I just feel as though he doesn't care and no one cares about me or my unborn child. He's just not bothered. I wanted to go stay with my parents but I can't keep a brave face and I don't want them to know that anything is wrong because they're so excited to be grandparents but I just feel as though I'm making a huge mistake. Before I became pregnant my partner was so excited, he kept saying how badly he wanted a baby with me and asked if we could try and of course I wanted one too so we decided to try for a baby but ever since I've become pregnant he literally just isn't bothered??? I am a mess, just feel like a huge burden and I'm completely lost and I feel so isolated, I have no one I can talk to about this. I'm scared I'll have to look into the eyes of my child in the future knowing that I felt this way about them and I didn't even want them and wanted to harm them?? I can't find any immediate help and I really don't know what to do? Is this normal??

[firstbabyworries]

Hi OP,
How are you feeling now? If it's any help, the way you feel is normal. In fact, any doubts, struggles or anything else is normal. Your body is going through a huge change.
You can do this

[Frazzle76]

Is there any backstory here?
How old are his other kids? What's his relationship like with them and their mother?
It's not unusual for the men to not be that excited. It feels quite abstract and distant to them for quite a while.
Its also OK to feel unsure - especially in the first trimester when you are feeling rubbish and worrying and you can't even feel anything.
However you are the priority here and it sounds like you need a little bit of looking after so go to your parents and let them take care of you.