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Antenatal/postnatal depression

Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.

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Original poster

PTSD/Birth Trauma

4 replies

JJO123 · 12/01/2021 09:38

I had my little boy 14 months ago and still dealing with PTSD/depression and anxiety from the birth. I'm unable to talk about it without getting upset or anxious. I had post natal depression for 6 months after my son was born before seeking help and now on anti depressants. I'm concerned I'll be on these forever as too worried about coming off of them and reverting back to how I felt after my son was born. My childbirth experience was not the worst but it was the worst for me. I'm not sure how I can move past and accept the birth for what it was and go on to have other children.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? I feel I only meet people that have had natural births with no intervention needed. They can talk about their births being amazing but when I think about mine I feel sadness.

I should also add that my relationship with my son is amazing, although I struggled for the first 6 months of his life I am better now but still struggle daily with flashbacks and a feeling that I've somehow failed him and wish I could do it all over again.

OP posts:

Minnie6078 · 14/01/2021 22:55

I can relate. With my first I had so many hope for the birth and when it happened just about everything that could go wrong did go wrong. After the experience I felt numb and just couldn't enjoy being a mum like I wanted to. It spiralled into PND which I had CBT for and talked through my birth and learnt to de sensitise myself. In the early days I couldn't even watch someone give birth in a film or the soaps without having to leave the room I was so jealous of anyone who had a great birth experience. Anyway 5 years later I have learnt to look at it as a positive experience as I now have my gorgeous DD and I was strong enough to go through what I did just like you were! I've also welcomed a lovely little boy and had an amazing birth experience which for me was almost like therapy in itself to allow me to see birth as a positive experience! I'd go as far as to say I'd like to do it again. Hope you are ok and feel free to PM me if you want to chat. Be kind to yourself I promise one day you won't feel like this xx

Aceray · 24/02/2021 22:33

Have you had a birth debrief? You can request one via your health visitor. I went to mine with low expectations but it was amazing and really helped me reframe some of the negative thoughts. A midwife (not the one at the birth) went through the notes and explained what had happened and why certain decisions were made. I had a lot of flashbacks but after the debrief they stopped instantly, I think because I had filled in all the blanks with facts about what really happened and why rather than my brain constantly trying to figure it out.

Stopsnowing · 24/02/2021 22:52

I had e m d r and the issue resolved after a handful of sessions.

LoveBlossom · 24/03/2021 00:59

Thank you for sharing your truth and your story, this is the first step toward healing. Keep asking for the support you need. You are not alone, there is a way, keep walking the path into your truth.
Would you like to walk forward from your story in strength?
Here is a brief survey about birth trauma and a free resource for your healing... I hope it helps. Blessings.
fz2my2onm68.typeform.com/to/gtSM4Zaq

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