Please remind me it gets better

[Leah2016]

So today I’ve finally talked with DH and told
Him I think I have PND again. Had it 5 years ago with my first DC and now my baby is 3 weeks old and I can feel all those feelings coming back. I’m constantly on the verge of tear yet feel very numb, everyday is Groundhog Day and I feel like I regret having another child. I completely adore my baby and he is gorgeous and lovely but I miss how things were when it was just the 3 of us and I feel like there is no escape.

DH has known I’ve not been right and today I couldn’t hold it in any longer and broke down and told him how I’ve felt. Last night I sat up for hours wishing I could go to sleep and not wake up. I’m so sad this is happening again as I went through it once before and I was sure I’d be able to avoid it this time.

I know it will get better but it just doesn’t feel that way at the moment :-(

Hi Leah

I suffered with postnatal depression with both of my children. I know exactly how you are feeling and I am so sorry your going through this again. Are you going to try and get an app with the doctor? I was on 200mg of sertraline for 3 years and have just managed to come off. It's so overwhelming having a new baby, expecially with another child to look after and obviously after the year we have had. I found making half an hour for my self a day used to help me feel a little more human. Hang on in there. Xx

@Leah2016 I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Please remember my wording, this is not your fault, it is something out of your control. How you are feeling is not a reflection of your love for your baby, it is simply a collecting of hormonal imbalance and sleep deprivation. While every new mother feels moments of helplessness, those with PND cannot see through the fog though they so badly want to. You are doing the right thing by acknowledging your situation and taking steps towards helping yourself. This is not your fault. But you do need help to move through it. You already know it gets better, but let me remind you: you are enough, you are good and you will feel lighter again in the future.