Depressed? Or just hormones/normal?!

[Dorset555]

Hi there sorry first time poster alert...

I'm 16 weeks pregnant and I still feel so unmotivated- I had hoped it was just the first trimester that was making me feel so rubbish but now I'm not sure if there is some other problem I need to address.
If I'm honest I've never felt the excitement and happiness that I'd assumed I'd feel with pregnancy. Our pregnancy was unexpected but very much wanted (I'd wanted kids now but my partner wanted to wait a bit longer). I just dont understand why I'm not feeling joy and happiness.
Maybe there's not a magic moment when the first trimester symptoms end and you feel fantastic? I'm just so worries about having PND if I dont address something...but I dont know if I'm depressed or just hormonal. Struggling to find things that.make me happy but isn't that just normal in pregnancy? Especially if the things that made you happy before we going put for a run and getting the endorphins going (yoga not the same at all!) or drinking wine with pals.
I also dont know if lockdown is just making things more confusing as everyones had such a confusing year anyway and sort of become hermits off the back of that!.
I've got a 16 week appointment next week and thinking I should bring up but I dont really know how I feel...as you can prob tell from above stream.of consciousness - apologies/thank you it's good to vent!!

@Dorset555, I felt the same in both of my pregnancies, the first even ended in termination as my depression was so bad! It's a shame nobody really talks about it as there is so much focus on PND but antenatal depression is definitely something that effects a lot of women.

What I will say is that it got better as the pregnancy went on and once my daughter arrived I didn't have PND or any bad feelings at all.

Definitely speak to someone about how you're feeling, it's totally normal and pregnancy is such a big change to your life. It's not all rainbows and cradling bump photos (yuck!) I hope you are ok.

@Dorset555 a lot of women go through this but unfortunately it isn't talked about as much as PND. I went through the same and trust me, it's your hormones talking. I had extreme morning sickness on top of that. As the pp mentioned, it does get better and especially once you start feeling the baby move, you will feel much better. I was in such a state and even refused to go to my own baby shower, that's how bad it was. Getting out of bed, washing myself, cooking and just getting on with life was such a struggle. I had days where I lied down in bed staring at the ceiling for hours and not thinking healthy thoughts. This also affected my marriage but DH stood by me. Literally yanked me out of bed and took me out so I could enjoy life. The joy in my eyes went, my motivation went, personal hygiene went. Like you, I didn't feel any excitement despite wanting this baby so much. Trust me it gets much better.

After the birth, I didn't develop PND at all and it felt like a switch just flicked and I went back to normal. I was sleep deprived, in pain and also trying to establish breastfeeding and despite all of that, I felt normal and cracked on with the care of a newborn as if I had done this before a million times (dc is my first). Hold on tight, it will get better. Good luck 🌺

Thank you so much @kyliekangaroo and @takenbywine (both great names btw!)
It's so nice to know there are people that understand and have gone through similar. Really hope that things start to fall into place once the baby movements are there. I spoke to a friend last night and she said week 16-17 was when she felt better...I think I was just focusing my slights in day 1 on second trimester to feel absolutely wonderful....not to be!!
One of my best friends also just had a silent miscarriage and it's been so hard for her...and I feel incredibly selfish saying this but it's been quite difficult for me to support her and I've been feeling alot of grief and perhaps guilt towards that situation also..so hard!
Anyway thanks again for the super encouraging words :-)