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Antenatal/postnatal depression

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Please help me! Antenatal depression??

5 replies

Patience1990 · 24/06/2020 09:59

Hi. Wondering if anyone can please help. I’ve never posted here before but desperately need help/advice.

Had a miscarriage November last year. Was very traumatic (4 days hospital stay, 2 blood transfusions etc). Am now 17 weeks pregnant. I don’t have any children so have never been this far along before.

After the miscarriage I struggled with anxiety and depression. Was on 10mg of citalopram for about 3 months. Came off it when I found out I was pregnant again.

I have been anxious the whole way through this pregnancy. Told myself not to get attached this time. Was sure something bad was going to happen (still am in a way even though she looks all healthy atm).

The last few weeks I haven’t been able to stop myself from crying all of the time. Anytime I think of the pregnancy or the baby I get upset and then I feel guilty because I feel like I don’t love her enough. I feel like I’m doing a terrible job of growing her inside me. I’m convinced I’m going to end up causing problems for her. My husband is already besotted with her and so excited. He’s trying to be supportive but I don’t think he understands why I’m so sad all of the time. It’s becoming involuntary- the crying and feeling sick.

I was so desperate to be pregnant and now I feel like I’m just ruining it all or something bad is going to happen because of the state I am in constantly. I should be so happy. She must be having a horrible time in the womb. I am on edge every time I feel a little prang or stretch.

I’ve contacted midwife and gp today. Waiting to hear from them. I really don’t want to go back on antidepressants as I’ve read all sorts. I don’t want that for my little girl but I can’t see how I can go on like I am for another five months.

Has anyone had any experiences like this? I don’t know what to do or who to turn to. I feel like I just cry my way through each day.

OP posts:
Laylor · 26/06/2020 13:20

I didnt have a miscarriage but we did struggle to conceive and after 2 years of convincing we wouldnt be parents, we found out fathers day last year we were expecting.

All the way through the pregnancy I was a nervous wreck so I understand where you are coming from.

I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum and was convinced the baby wasnt being fed as I lost the best part of 2 stone between week 8 and 12 but baby was fine.

A turning point for me was when I started feeling him move. That helped me massively.

Speak out to your partner, family etc about how you are feeling. My mum says a problem shared is a problem halved and it definitely helps.

Please remember that what you are feeling sounds pretty normal to me considering what you went through.

X

Patience1990 · 27/06/2020 12:48

@Laylor thank you. You have no idea how much I needed to read so
String like this yesterday but I didn't have the strength to reply then.

I'm trying to just go day by day. Am going to try and get to the 20 week appointment and then have a big chat with the midwife to see what she thinks. I am so emotional all day long, it's exhausting but I want to do what is best for baby.

OP posts:
Theyweretheworstoftimes · 27/06/2020 12:51

Please call your GP and midwife and be honest with them. They should support you

Laylor · 27/06/2020 13:06

@Patience1990 I've sent you a private message z

mummab2019 · 14/07/2020 14:03

Hey! I was very similar to you although I didn't miscarry and had one LG already! When I found out I was pregnant (which I couldn't wait to have) I started feeling v similar feelings to you and took a real dip and was v depressed. I was very close to not wanting my baby. I was like you on citalopram and stopped it whilst I was pregnant but found I was getting worse as the pregnant went on particularly early-mid pregnancy...o decided to continue with my meds and had 20mg after 12 week stage up until my little girl was born and upped it again.! I have done this with both girls and found that it was hard to begin with but once the meds fully settled I was able to focus and look to the future more with another baby! I would tell myself what happens if I don't love her or not be a good mum etc- this all eased off a lot towards the end. It's a v lovely feeling no matter how much support you have. I also listened to a lot of calming music & meditation- not my thing but it helped massively along with tiger balm and lavender Grin

My midwife also refereed me to the local MIMS team - mother infant mental health and they were a great support and I also had a consultant where I could discuss next steps and how I can support myself and baby!

Be strong - as soon as my LG arrives and I upped my meds to support me I felt on top of world and able to cope!!

Hope that's help xxx

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