Pnd our severe sleep deprivation?
user1472205009 · 21/06/2020 10:18
I had my second baby 6 weeks ago and my eldest is 3.
I feel sooo tired and hopeless at the moment. I’m struggling to see the wood from the trees.
I wanted a second and was so excited during pg but as soon as she was here, she was feeding constantly and I felt such a deep guilt for my eldest as I just wasn’t able to spend time. We had feeding issues and eventually moved to bottle at 4 weeks which I also feel incredibly guilty about as she just doesn’t seem to settle or spend much time awake and happy. She will eventually go down at night between 10&11 for 3-4 hours but she is constantly stirring and so I’m just not sleeping. By time put her back down after feed it’s almost 4 and she will be stirring again an hour later. Hubby will do night feeds but his dead to the world when asleep so I have to spend 10 mins getting him awake enough.
Most days I can push these feelings aside, with enough coffee and tea. But I often feel like I haven’t got a grip on the situation, most days we are all still in pjs at noon which I also feed guilty for. We have been isolating as much as possible for sake of baby and not really even going for walks- tbh, it seems like a mammoth fast just to get out of the house.
I feel incapable most of the time and as though I am just making it through the day with my children fed and clean.
I often ask myself why we had a second as we had got to a good place with our eldest and then immediately hate myself for thinking such a thing.
I’m scared it could be pnd but also wonder if it isn’t just severe sleep deprivation- I’ve never been able to cope well on lack of sleep but this is pushing me to the limits.
I know things will get better and easier but on bad days I do wonder- I just want to walk out 😭
Cornishbelle · 02/07/2020 08:18
I couldn't read and run just wanted to say hope you are feeling brighter.
You sound like you are doing amazing. The guilty feelings will pass your first will thank you in time for having a sibling and you will get more sleep again.
Don't forget you are in the middle of what some call the fourth trimester, I had forgotten too how exhausting it can be. At the moment with all the covid craziness it must be extra hard as the usual distractions of toddler groups and family friends time are pretty much non existent, but do whatever you can to get through, get family or friends reading stories on skype to your eldest if you can or head out for a doorstep or garden visit to someone nearby.
Sending you can do this. If you do feel it's too much give gp a call and get some more support.
You're doing an awesome job and sound like an amazing mum
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