Is it common to feel depressed after successful IVF pregnancy?

[london2cardiff]

I had a 20 week scan yesterday and everything was fine. I felt relieved and happy.

Today - I cant explain my feelings, but I almost feel sad! I have cried for no apparent reason. I think maybe it's just that I am overwhelmed after reaching this stage having gone through 3 years of IVF with various complications.....

I hope that is all and I am not going to develop antenatal depression

Has anyone else felt like this after a successful IVF? It seems stupid after what I've wanted for so long.....

I did! Similar length of time spent ttc, very much wanted ivf baby and came after loss of two previous babies. After the initial euphoria of a positive test I felt oddly detached and ‘flat’. Everyone around me was hugely excited and congratulatory and I found that hard because I felt like I was just going through the motions. Luckily I still had regular sessions with my fertility counsellor at the clinic and she reassured me that it was very normal to feel that way and not to use it as a stick to beat myself with. She kept reminding me that a baby being much wanted, yearned for and frankly hard-won does not make the mother immune from the usual stresses and strains of pregnancy and new motherhood - and not to fall into the trap of ‘#blessed’ 24/7. For me I felt almost ambivalent to the pregnancy as I was scared of investing emotionally in case it all ended. I honestly never believed my baby would find his way into my arms, and I carried alot of emotional trauma around that. Hypnobirthing and mindfulness helped to an extent, and in the end I just told myself that whatever I felt was valid and I tried to take the pressure off myself to enjoy every moment of my pregnancy.

It got easier once I reached the third trimester, and the feelings of fear and ambivalence and detachment had absolutely no bearing on my bonding with my baby once he entered the world.

Apologies for the ramble, but hopefully that reassures you a bit. Congratulations on your pregnancy and do PM me if you need to chat with someone who has been there

I did too and I really relate to Puddlelane says about being scared of getting emotionally invested. I spent the first trimester of my second IVF pregnancy convinced I was going to miscarry. Don't under-estimate the emotional toll of infertility and IVF - we carry on like normal while it's going on but it is emotionally exhausting. You spend all that time trying not to get your hopes up; that's not going to magically disappear once you get pregnant.

Try to take it day by day and don't put pressure on yourselves to feel a particular way. Don't expect to be delighted every second either - no one is, 9 months is a long time